


Riftwalker 4 - Greyhound

by mistressterably



Series: Riftwalker [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 04:03:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11028234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistressterably/pseuds/mistressterably
Summary: In which Cee is introduced to the Doctor's 12th regeneration





	Riftwalker 4 - Greyhound

Static electric sparks started to form in the middle of the large unfinished basement, reflecting off the bare concrete floor and walls. The flickering glow grew in size and then lit up a long work bench and a number of shelves that ran along one wall. Then in a waterfall display a crack opened mid-air and a dark lump flew out. The sparks went out leaving no trace behind. With a sharp cracking noise it hit against the gray wall before dropping to the floor and then rolling back towards the center of the floor. As it came to a rest the lump began to pulse slowly with a dim blue light. Moments later, a light snapped on and the sound of footsteps broke the new-formed silence. The figure of a female shadowed over the lump. 

'And just where did you come from,' She whispered in the silence and knelt down by the lump. 'Certainly not the usual trash to come through the rift are you.' She reached her hand out to touch it when the pulsing light brightened slightly. The forward motion of her hand stopped and the light dimmed again as she pulled away from the lump. Standing up, she walked around the lump and approached the middle of the room. This time the light grew in a more controlled manner and she could feel the rift opening. Her usual sensing of the branches of the rift came to mind and she mentally ran through them all briefly, her head moving slowly as she scanned them. None of them were different from previous layouts that had been mapped and none of the branches were showing as active. Pulling away, the rift closed once more, again without any dramatic light show. 

The lump continued to pulse slowly and dimly. 'Too small to be a meteor,' She spoke out loud. 'But too big to be just normal space clutter. Certainly doesn't look valuable.' Her eyes narrowed as she stared at it intently. As it pulsed it felt like it was thrumming in the bones of her feet. She shook her head and went over to the shelves. There she found a wooden box and, after emptying it of the few rocks from it onto another shelf, she placed it over the lump and the light emanating from it was covered but the dull pulse continued to run through my body. 'I don't like this.' she muttered aloud. 'Not one bit.' 

 

 

'There you go, Clara. I'll have you back about an hour after we left.' The Doctor finished setting the coordinates for Clara's apartment and leaned casually against the console, calling out to his travelling companion. 

'A whole hour this time?' Clara asked as she pulled on her jacket and jogged up the stairs leading from her room on the TARDIS. 'Didn't want to try for 30 seconds this time? You do like to show off with your timing.' 

'I can only be precise so often.' He waved his hand as if to dismiss her question, he was too tired to bother sparring verbally with her this time. 2000 years old and he was starting to feel it after his more strenuous adventures now. 'As long as I get you back in time for your boring dullness and dishes. That's what counts.'

'Teaching is not dull.' Clara countered as she collected up the marking that she'd been working on and slipped it into her satchel. 'It's certainly not dull when I'm teaching you, now is it, Doctor?' 

'You just get lucky at times.' The Doctor reached over to pull a handle on the console to ready the TARDIS for landing. 'Ow!' He grabbed his chest at the sharp pain that stabbed at his skin at the same spot where his psychic paper sat in his pocket. He rubbed the spot more for curiosity than to ease the pain. 'That's odd, very odd.'

'What's wrong, Doctor?' Clara came over, concerned at the tone of the Doctor's voice, hearing him to be in any sort of pain was extremely unusual. 

'My psychic paper isn't supposed to do that. It's shocked me through my jacket.' He pulled the leather billfold out of his chest pocket and flipped it about in his hand. 'OW' With a cry of pain, he let it drop to the floor as if he'd been burned by it. The second shock was a lot stronger than the first and he knelt down to pick it up gingerly. With a flick of his thumb, he flipped it open. Clara watched as his face seemed to drain of all color. 

'Doctor, what's going on?' Her voice edged higher with concern. It wasn't often the Doctor looked so concerned and she didn't like it at all. 

'Sorry, Clara. Change of plans.' The Doctor turned back to the console and frantically began to input new directions. He muttered to himself as he worked feverishly. 'She never calls me. Never!' In a softer tone, 'And after so long.' The monitor displayed the location and time that he'd inputted but as he watched the time jumped to coincide almost directly with the present day. He grabbed the monitor to hold on as the TARDIS jerked about changing destinations once again. 'What? Now?' His brows furrowed in confusion as he tapped his knuckle against the monitor. 'Certainly never been this time.'

'Who never calls you? What's going on! You are not making any sense at all Doctor.' Clara grabbed hold of the console as the TARDIS shuddered with the sudden change of direction. 'Where are we going?' 

'A very old friend needs my help.' The Doctor hung on to the console himself as he tried to explain something that he'd never mentioned to anyone ever before. 'She's helped me too many times to count over my lifetimes. And now, she's asking for my direct help.' He held out the psychic paper for Clara to see. Written in bold letters was a brief call for help. "I NEED YOU. c." 'I'm sorry Clara, I'm not going to refuse her call and I don't want to take any longer than I have to to drop you off home.' 

'I wouldn't expect you to refuse, Doctor!' Clara called out as she clung on to keep her balance. 'But who is it though?' She asked over the screeching noise of the engines. The Doctor was too preoccupied with hanging on and landing the TARDIS to answer her question just at that moment.

With a rough bounce, the TARDIS landed. 'Two blocks away. Couldn't risk getting closer than this. If it's anything to do with the rift having the TARDIS too close would be disastrous. Come on!' 

'Really Doctor. Will you explain any of this to me?' Clara almost had to run to keep up with the Doctor's longer stride down the street. 'Where are we?'

'This is going to be incredibly hard to explain, Clara.' He pulled out his sonic screwdriver to scan as he walked. 'I've never met her here before. Usually it's at the sanctuary. Why she's asked me to come here I have no idea. She's told me about her home though so it must be .. ' He stopped talking and walking suddenly and Clara didn't stop quickly enough to stop from bumping into him. The Doctor turned and caught her by the arm to stop her falling backwards. 'Of course, it's her home! The main rift portal she uses must be here! But if it's the main portal then something must have come through on it's own. Come on! Move it!' He grabbed Clara's hand and ran. 

 

Cee woke up to yet another day of growing unease and building pain. The pulsing light coming from the lump in the basement was slowly being accompanied by a mental drumbeat. Every day it just got worse as it just never stopped. It wasn't an overwhelming pain but not something she wanted around for too long as it was also stopping her from getting any sleep. She got dressed and, after getting a cup of coffee headed to the basement and stared at the box. 'Come on, Doctor. It's been 4 days now.' She muttered out loud to herself. Cee found that she couldn't turn her back on it at all without really fighting the hypnotic draw of the pulse. She sat down in the old wing chair that she had moved down to the basement when last getting new furniture. Absently, she sipped her coffee and waited, sitting just far enough away to minimize the pain in her head by being too close but far enough away without the pull to be a bother. 

A loud crash signalled the rushed opening of my front door and Cee practically jumped out of her skin and wound up spilling coffee on her jeans. 'Dammit.' She cursed and stood up. 

'Cee? Are you here?' The Doctor called out as he crashed through the front door. 'Where are you?'

'Downstairs in the basement!' Her voice called up to him. A moment later he came clattering down the stairs with Clara right behind him. She turned and was taken aback at the sight of his companion. It looked at first as if she was pleased to see him but a more schooled look took it's place. 'Long time no see Doctor. Hope I didn't bother you too much but I needed a bit of help with this.' She jerked a thumb behind her and then stepped to one side. The Doctor stopped at her side and stared at the pulsing lump. He put a hand on her forearm and squeezed it lightly. 'Face number four.' She commented aloud, and after a bit of a pause, 'And one other between the last?' 

'Yes. Sorry, time's got away from me. I meant to visit...' The Doctor tried to apologize but stopped abruptly as the drumbeat hit him for the first time. 'Whoa. What is that?' 

'Doctor?' Clara stood on the other side of the Doctor, 'I'm not the only one feeling that am I?'

'Nope,' She answered before the Doctor could. 'And I bet you'll have a hard time turning your back on it. I know I've been having a hard time since it landed here.'

'Through the rift?' The Doctor asked. 'When?'

'Yes, it landed here about 10 days ago. After a week I couldn't shake it any more. I tried to put a box over it, wood, metal, nothing stops it. It's not gotten too much stronger but it's wearing me down because it never stops I tried to move it but when I went to touch it, it got brighter and the noise worse. I figured it'd be better to not try any more.'

'Has anyone else tried to touch it or move it?' The Doctor asked as he moved towards the lump. He started scanning it with his sonic screwdriver with no reaction.

'No. No one else here but me.' She rubbed her neck to try and relieve some of the pain that had been building up. He could feel it emanating from her. 'Most things that fall through the rift just drop out. This one flew out and took a chunk out of the wall. I only caught the last bit of the light show. It was sparking up a storm and crackling. This wasn't passive at all. I tried to get a fix on it but whatever tunnel it used it was already gone the moment it closed again. Only the standard tunnels I'm used to were there.' The Doctor nodded as she spoke and moved around it to continue his scans. 

'Can someone please explain what's going on to me?' Clara asked. 'Seriously, none of this is making any sense to me and so far no one's telling me anything that isn't in plain English.'

'I have no idea either, Clara' The Doctor confessed, scratching his head. He pointed his sonic at it. 'I've never seen anything like it. Absolutely nothing registering on the sonic.' He whacked the screwdriver against his hand to see if that would change the readings at all but still nothing

'I don't think that's what she's asking, Doctor.' Cee shook her head with a weak smile. " A quick brief then. Most people just call me Cee. It's easier than trying to get people to pronounce my actual name properly. I've known the Doctor for quite some time now and this lovely little bit of space garbage wound up falling through the rift. Upon landing it's been giving off this noise and light show which won't stop. I can't even get close enough without it getting worse. And if you've travelled with or known the Doctor at all, when you're faced with something this baffling that came from some unknown part of the universe, your going to want to call him in for help.' She smiled and held a hand out to Clara, she shook Cee's hand but still had a puzzled look on her face. Cee glanced at the Doctor and then back at Clara. ' And I bet that if he's been his usual self, you've probably never heard of me. Which has just made this whole scene either more awkward or surreal for both of us.'

'That's an understatement.' Clara said. "Lovely to meet you, Cee. I'm Clara, I travel with the Doctor which you've already guessed.'

'He's mentioned many companions to me in the past but you're the first companion of his that I've met. Guess my timing was off on asking for his help.' She shrugged and turned back to watch the Doctor, who was now squatting beside the lump to look at it up close. 'Sorry about that. I've never really needed to ask him for help for something like this before. I'm usually more than self-sufficient on my own.'

The Doctor stood up and brushed off his hands. He turned around to face the two women. 'Oh, good. You've both managed that on your own. It's annoying when I have to do the introductions. You said ten days it's been here? And it's just been doing this the whole time?' The Doctor looked at Cee as he asked and she nodded. 'Show me what happens when you try to touch it.' He waved his sonic screwdriver at it, beckoning her over. Cee stepped closer reluctantly and stretched her hand towards it. The drumbeat got stronger and the light pulsed more strongly but not faster.

'Damn.' Her face winced at the increased sound before she backed away quickly until the pain lessened. She sat heavily in the chair and squeezed her eyes shut. Clara took a few steps over to stand beside the chair. Her hand rested on Cee's shoulder, trying to give her some comfort. 

'Sorry. I needed to see for myself. And still no readings at all. Clara, did you feel anything differently? No? Neither did I. And neither of us felt anything until we got close to it.' He stood up and furrowed his brows in thought. 'Just you.' He looked at me. 'Rift. Have you tried to open the rift since?'

'Just in the few minutes after it arrived to try and see where it had come from. I always do that when I'm quick enough when something comes through. Helps me figure out if it's just going to be garbage or something with potential. There wasn't any difference I just didn't sense any new pathways but I know it didn't come through any of the set pathways. I can always tell when something's just travelled through the rift. I don't dare try now. Not with this pain in my head.' She rubbed her forehead in a vain attempt to ease the pain.

'Good. Don't try. I think it's the rift energy that increases it, although that's just a theory. I just wish I knew what it was. ' The Doctor stood there and chewed on his thumb as he racked his brain. 'Cee, you know I can't take this on the TARDIS to get rid of it. Not if rift energy fuels it. I mean, uh...' He waved a hand as if prompting her to understand what he was saying without having to say it.

'I know, I know' Cee grimaced again. 'Could we just throw it back through the rift?' 

'It's hard to say what would actually happen. You said it was sparking when it came through?' He came over to the chair and stood over her. Gesturing with his hands, Cee nodded and he placed his middle fingers on her temples. With his eyes closed he read her mind forging a stronger direct psychic link between them. It was his turn to grimace as he felt her pain washing over him. 'Definitely not going to throw it back if that's what it was like coming through. Not to mention that you'd have to do the throwing to open the rift at the same time. ' His fingers dropped away from her temples, the pain he had felt through her disappearing as soon as the link was broken. 'The pain is just getting worse the longer it's here, isn't it?' She nodded. 'Okay, I know what it's not. It's certainly nothing to do with Time Lord technology. If it were it would react to me the same way. So it's just based on the rift energy and if that's the case then I have to assume that it would react the same way to the TARDIS as you do. I don't think it's a bomb or a weapon else it likely would have blown up on entry while it was coming through the rift with that level of disturbance. Or else it's on a very slow timer. ' He turned his back on us and gazed at the lump, lost in thought.

'That's a relief that it's not a bomb. What is it with this rift?' Clara asked, trying to keep up with the Doctor while keeping an eye on the older woman. 'Are you okay? You look really pale.' 

'I need to go upstairs and put some distance between me and it. The noise should fade a bit.' She got up and made her way to the stairs.

 

Clara watched as she left the room. 'Doctor, what is going on. Your friend is in a lot of pain right now,isn't she?' 

'Hm?' The Doctor looked up from the lump, his train of thought distracted by Clara's question. 'She'll be fine. I'm here now and I'll take care of her.. it.' He caught himself too late to correct himself but didn't notice Clara's look at him. Not that he would have been able to read her expression, subtle human body language hints were always lost on him 'This thing appears to be toxic to her and to the rift. Maybe it's been forged in the rift itself or something that's completely anti-rift, almost like anti-matter. Anti-time? Toxic but compelling her to stay close to it. And I can't bring it on the TARDIS to shield her from it. The only time she's ever been on the TARDIS it almost killed her. Oh I wish she had called me sooner. Stubborn woman.' 

'Doctor!' Clara grabbed him by the arm to break his train of thought. She was getting quite exasperated with only getting bits and pieces of the story from either of them. She couldn't fault Cee but the Doctor was starting to get annoying. 'I get that you don't know what this lump is but who is Cee? A little bit of help here because I'm really not understanding what's going on here.'

'I told you, she's an old friend.' The Doctor didn't elaborate any further but continued on. 'I'm sorry Clara, but until I sort this out and can find a way to safely get rid of this thing we're not going anywhere in the TARDIS. I need to know what it is. If it's a bomb or weapon or anything destructive you know I'll have to get it off Earth.' He rubbed his chin with his hand. He turned away from the lump and strode over to a workbench that took up one section of wall. He started to clear things off and tried to explain to Clara. ' The rift is an alternate means of time travel. It's a web of energy that courses through the universe, and potentially even other dimensions and planes. Living creatures can't survive it though. You could be encased in a machine and still not survive but there are fixed points for the most part that go to different fixed points in space but those points exist constantly and time is meaningless in the rift. So where ever there's a portal the theory is that you can exit it at any point in linear time that it exists in. Other than that there is very little flexibility. It's usually why things go missing and things just appear in odd places. Most of the time it's mostly just rock and metals that wind up migrating through them if the portal is active and the object is nearby at the time. See? Over there. That's the usual stuff that falls through. ' He motioned to the shelves where there were rows of various rocks and lumps of material. 'Not often you find a rift portal in a house though. Torchwood and UNIT have pretty much locked up all the known portal sites on Earth. Usually with warehouses or offices that they own or monitor. They like to make sure they get first grab at what falls through. Cee is always one step ahead of them.' The Doctor grinned and snapped his fingers.

'But you just said that she could open the rift.' Clara pointed out his earlier comment. 'If nothing survives then why would she be able to open it?'

'Well, normally nothing living can survive.' He did his hand waving as if brushing the comment away. 'She can, she's unique. In all of time and space she's the only living person known to have been able to just walk through the rift unaided. The only others were a metal skinned race that could do so but the atmospheres that they could survive in were very toxic and limited them to just a handful of planets that also had rift portals on them' The Doctor rambled on a bit with the pointless information. 'Now, the TARDIS loves rift energy. It converts it into a form that it can run on. It doesn't need recharging all the time but when there's a chance to I will or if there's been a lot of damage. You see, the rift is similar to the time vortex. The vortex though, that's what the TARDIS can travel through and manipulate, its what the Time Lords were finally able to master. The rift, never. Too small and too fixed so we never really cared about it. It's never been a problem before. Usually it's just sitting there and being boring.'

"She can travel through it? Just like these rocks?' Clara was impressed. 'You can't though?'

The Doctor laughed. 'I wouldn't want to, I wouldn't have any way of controlling it. If I were to survive the trip I'd never be able to control where I wound up. I'll take the TARDIS any day, much more sophisticated. But her, she can control where she ends up. Where ever she can find a portal, she can see a map and go through it. even to the point where she can sense the atmosphere and conditions that exist at the other end.' He snapped his fingers. 'Not as amazing as the TARDIS but low tech works sometimes for some people.' He rubbed at his chin again. 'We spent a lot of time in the past trying to figure out how she's able to travel the rift but we've never figured it out. My personal theory was that she was conceived at a rift point or hit puberty whilst living on or near one. Although after debating and thinking about it, I'm swinging more towards the conception theory. To have the unique abilities she has it would have to be at the cellular level.' The Doctor's train of thought continued to drift down the theoretical path, 'Unless it was both. The cellular development at conception and then the trigger point at puberty. ' His eyebrows went up as he followed the logic. 'Must be that, not an either or but a both. She did say that they had lived in the same house from the day she was born till well after she started the walking. Definitely, that is good. I'm going to have to go over that line of thinking with Cee later.' 

'Can't hold off the gloating can you?' Clara shook her head at the Doctor's rambling. Doing a bit of her own investigation, she walked around the lump and went up to the wall. She ran her fingers over it 'Did you see this Doctor? It must have come flying out at some speed. There's at least a good inch of concrete cracked out of the wall. If you can't remove it with the TARDIS how are you going to get rid of it?'

'That is what I have to find out. And until I do, I have to keep her safe.' His eyes drifted upwards towards the stairs where Cee had gone. He already had a thought as to how he would start doing just that but he buried the idea deep in his mind for now.

'Just an old friend?' Clara asked, catching something in the Doctor's tone and glance. She knew that he was very protective of those he travelled with but this was a little more intense. He just nodded absently at what he thought was her question. Her curiosity rose to the surface. 'Why don't you talk about her if she's such a close friend. You talk about River a lot and I know she was incredibly close to you. And you've certainly regaled me with tales of adventures you've had in the past with other companions.' 

'River travelled with me. The others too. Stories of things that are interesting to tell about.' The Doctor was oblivious to the subtle hint in Clara's comments about River and Cee. 'Cee can't travel with me. Ever. The first time I met her I invited her to join me on the TARDIS. She gladly said yes until I started the TARDIS. I didn't realize she was a rift walker. It almost killed her. If she could have travelled with me... ' He let his voice trail away as he pushed down the what if's and never weres that he had to live with. 'Ever since then, I've always known where she can be found and I know that when I need to, I can visit her. Recharge the batteries. Usually she's at the sanctuary.'

'A calm oasis to rest in?' Clara asked rhetorically. 'But why don't you talk about her?'

The shoulders of his jacket shrugged slightly in response. 'No point. It's not like I have adventures with her. Imagine the story. Oh hey, did I tell you the time I hung around with Cee and played bridge while the TARDIS recharged. It just astounds the imagination how much excitement that holds.' The Doctor dismissed the question as best he could, absentmindedly he played with the ring around his finger. 'I have more to tell her about you or any of my past companions than I do to you about her. Why be boring when there's so much more exciting things to do and see.' He smiled as if to dismiss the whole notion. 'That's why you travel with me isn't it? The excitement and the adrenaline?'

'Rule number one, the Doctor lies.' Clara reminded him. 'There's something you're not telling me.' Her tone was mildly accusatory.

'I'm not lying.' The Doctor retorted and then thought a moment. A bit of honesty can't hurt, he thought to himself. 'But yes, there are things I'm not telling you. Because it's not for me to tell.' He turned away and went back to clearing off the workbench that was against the one wall. 'Time to get working on this and get rid of it. Grab one of those boxes for me.' He gestured towards a row of boxes by the shelves. Clara shook her head, knowing she wasn't going to get any more out of him than she had so far. At least not for the time being. Giving up, she helped the Doctor clear off the bench. It didn't take long before the Doctor moved the lump off the floor and onto the bench. Once there, he began to study it intensely. 

'I'm going upstairs to check on Cee.' Clara said, not expecting any response from the Doctor. She'd seen him like this before and leaving him to it would be best. He didn't respond so Clara headed upstairs.

 

Cee woke up at the sound of Clara's footsteps on the floor. Sleeping on the couch in the front room was never good for her back, so she got up and stretched to work the kinks out of her neck and back. 'Any luck?' She asked as Clara sat across from her in the chair. 

'No. But he's got started on scanning it. Got it up on the workbench and off the floor.' Clara looked at her with a mix of curiosity and intensity. 

'He'll be wanting a coffee soon.' Cee went to get up but couldn't find the strength right away. She closed her eyes to clear her head. 'He always does when he's around. Look, Clara. I'm sorry. If I'd had any way of knowing he was travelling with a companion I wouldn't have bothered him. He's always said that there's never any point in bringing any of his companions to visit at the same time because there's no running and all boring doing nothing. Hanging around doing little to nothing isn't exactly a great way to spend time with the Doctor.'

'It seems to work for you and the Doctor. For a long time too if I understand right.' Clara smiled at her nod. 'Don't worry about me being here. A bit of down time is fine with me as well so don't go feeling like I'm a burden or an inconvenience. If I know the Doctor it won't be all that long before he's found out everything he needs to know to get rid of this thing. '

'That's what he does. Like a dog with a bone.' Cee smiled wryly and tried to get up off the couch again. This time with more success and headed to the kitchen. 'Care for a tea?' 

Clara followed me into the kitchen and watched the older woman get some coffee and tea going. She leaned back against the counter to wait for the water to boil. 'You may as well ask me your questions, I know you're dying to find things out. And I'm sure our favourite Time Lord isn't really answering any of them. Not with the great mysterious lump puzzle to solve in front of him. Whether or not I answer them, well, that will depend on what you ask. '

'You can't travel with him?' Clara asked pointedly, taking up the invitation to ask. 

'No, I can't.' Cee smiled grimly as her thoughts went back to the first time she had met the Doctor. 'I ran into him first on one of my trips to the medieval period. It's not often on my travels that I run into someone in the past that's also aware of the future. The Doctor's got me beat hands down on the future thing though. Anyway, he got me out of a bit of a jam with a church court and offered me a lift home. He had no idea that I had arrived via a rift and I had never met another time traveller so neither of us thought it would be an issue. I'm no scientist so how what I can do works isn't something I worry about. Nothing was out of the ordinary until I touched the console while it was in flight. Lets just say the TARDIS didn't like me and threw me off. If I'd landed a bit differently I probably would have snapped my neck in two. As it was, my neck was still badly broken but I was alive. He got me to a medical facility and stayed at my side until I was up and about again. He said he felt responsible for my getting hurt. I always said it was both of us that caused it. Anyway, we got to know each other quite well during my recovery time. I told him that he had a permanent invitation to visit whenever he needed to for whatever reason he needed. Ever since, he's taken me up on the offer whenever he needed me. Especially after I established my sanctuary. Perfect place for relaxation with plenty of space for the TARDIS to park and recharge. Over the years, I've seen him with three other faces. This is the fourth one I've seen him sport. Although I do know he's gone through more regenerations than just the ones I know about.' As she recounted the story she made a couple of cups of coffee and a cup of tea for Clara. 

'Wow. That's quite the way to start a friendship.' Clara couldn't help but be amazed. 'Certainly not dull or boring.'   
Cee smiled at her reaction. 'No, neither dull nor boring. Here, let's go and take this to his Time Lordness.' She handed Clara the tea and collected the two coffee mugs for herself and the Doctor. 

"Is it a good idea for you to go back downstairs?' Clara asked with concern. 

'As long as i don't get too close to it I'm fine. it's just a constant ache in my head, like it's at the base of my skull. Too close and it's too painful but at there's a balance point where the pain seems to lessen but any further and it's like this odd pull towards it. I've found that if I stay in that zone for a while then when I leave I'm good for some hours to try and sleep until the drumming leaks through too loudly again.' Cee explained and then headed down stairs. 

'Wait!' The Doctor called out as he heard their footsteps. 

'Yes sir.' Cee halted partway down the stairs and noticed where he'd moved it to on the bench. 'You've moved it as far away from the portal that you can then? I'd been meaning to but never really could.' 

'Hang on, let me find the best spot for the balance and I'll move the chair over to it.' Using his sonic screwdriver he paced around the room until the sonic tone changed. He used a piece of chalk and drew an x on the floor. Pocketing his screwdriver he then moved the old wing chair over and then placed one of the extra stools beside it. 'Your throne, m'lady.' He bowed and directed her to the chair. With a chuckle, she sat down on the chair and handed him his coffee as he hovered over her, making sure she was okay. He took a sip, nodded and then went back to the work bench. Clara settled in on one of the other stools and sipped her tea, recounting some of their recent adventures to Cee and leaving the Doctor to his work.

'How long do you figure?' Cee asked after some time of watching him work and during a pause in our conversation. Clara tried to politely hide a yawn. 

'I don't know.' The Doctor stood up and stretched out his arms and his back muscles. 'I'm not getting anything off it. Nothing. ' He shrugged. 'I've managed to find out the frequency of the drumming but no way of blocking them yet. I think I've definitely ruled out a bomb or weapon though. It doesn't seem to be volatile but there's something inside generating the noise. ' In frustration he threw the screwdriver in his hand onto the table. "I'm going to need some things out of the TARDIS to try and crack this. Well, not literally unless I could get inside to help figure it out ' He tried to clarify his point but wasn't sure if he had. He scratched his head in puzzlement.

'It's after dark. Wait until morning then go to the TARDIS. May confuse the heck out of the neighbours if you start trotting odd bits of techno-babble back and forth. Clara, did you want to sleep in the guest room? I'll understand if you want to stay in the TARDIS if you've got a room set up there.

'Guest room will be fine. I'm not really in the mood for a midnight stroll.' Clara said. 'Doctor? You going to the TARDIS to rest?'

'No, I'll stay here and keep working. I can collect what I need in the morning.' The Doctor cagily kept from looking at either Clara or her. Cee took the hint and played along. He wasn't about to commit to sleeping in one place or another she realized.

'If you want to I can get some blankets and set you up on the couch. It's certainly long enough and it's not like you need a double bed so the width will do.' Cee smirked at him as she made mention of his new figure for the first time. 'Now if you were still on your first regeneration that I knew, I'd have to swap Clara to the couch and you to the guest bed.'

'Ha ha. I wasn't fat then. Just middle aged.' The Doctor didn't bother turning around.

Cee chuckled at his remarks. 'It must have been the scarf then. Made you look more fluffy, although your hair is on the wild side again..'

The Doctor made a small noise of disgust and waved them off with his hand. 'I'll see you both in the morning. Go away and leave me be. Work to do.' 

 

The Doctor looked busy as he waited for both women to leave him alone in the basement. As soon as they were gone, he put down the tools he'd been working with on the bench and rubbed his face. The worry over Cee caught up to him and he rubbed his face. 'How do I figure you out?' He whispered aloud, glaring at the lump in front of him on the bench. 'And why did I bring Clara here? Of all places.' He cuffed himself in the head. "Stupid, stupid Doctor. React first then think and now look at what you've got yourself into.' He started to chew on his thumb as he thought things through. He could pop out to the TARDIS, get the equipment he needed to try and get answers as soon as possible or get some rest and wait until the morning. 'The sooner I find the answer, the sooner I can get rid of this thing and get Clara home. Isn't that the best path?' He asked himself out loud. 'But if I find the answer quickly then I'll leave and get Clara home but then when would I come back? Does she understand that it's been at least 900 years since I last visited her? Damn, I don't even know how long it's been for her.' He recalled the pain that washed over him when he had been linked to her and he only wanted to do everything he could to stop her from being in pain. She was just as good at lying as he was. Just as bad though was knowing that under all that pain was her need. No, not a need, he corrected himself. Her affection and her desire that's what was there under the pain. It's never faded in all this time. No matter how long between his visits she's always the same. Even now, after 900 years of his putting off visiting her she still cared for him and wanted him. But how could he just go back to her the way it was after having spent a lifetime with River, and the Ponds and now Clara, not to mention the Time Wars. In frustration he punched the table top with his fist. 'Why can't you just hate me for what I do to you, for what I did to you?' He muttered to himself. Shaking his head, he picked up a chisel and hammer and began to try and crack the lump open somehow. It was at least something to try until he could collect some tools from the TARDIS.

'Really? It's 3 in the morning Doctor. Couldn't you wait until daylight to start the jackhammer up?' Cee stood there with her arms crossed glaring at the Doctor. He stopped with the hammer raised about to slam down on the chisel again. 

'Ah, Cee! You're up. How'd you sleep?' The Doctor put the hammer and chisel down on the work table. 'I actually managed to get a bit of it cracked off. Should be enough here to run an analysis on the TARDIS. That should help get this sorted out for us.' 

'I was trying to sleep until you got going with that racket.' She sat down in the chair and rubbed at her eyes, the pain was still there. 'I think I slept anyway.' 

'Oh. Oh!' The Doctor realized what she meant and came over to sit on the stool beside the chair. 'I didn't think.. I'm sorry.'

'I know you don't think, Doctor. One of your endearing qualities.' She reached up and stroked his cheek lightly. He put his hand over hers and pressed her fingers closer against his skin. 'The hammering was just too loud for me to try and sleep through.'

'I'm sorry.' He repeated himself at a loss as to what else he could say. "What can I do? I want to help you.'

'Don't hammer any more for a start. It's a wonder you haven't woken Clara up too. Then where would you be? Two grumpy women in the same room suffering from a lack of sleep because of your hammering. I'd pity you then. After I was finished being grumpy of course.' She rolled her eyes at him and pulled her hand away from his cheek but didn't extract her hand from his. 'Can you just please help me get some sleep.'

The Doctor squeezed her hand with his. 'You know what I can do.' His voice dropped to a soft whisper as he pushed her sweat dampened hair away from her eyes. 

'I don't want to sleep that deep. Just for some time.' The pained look in her eyes was like a sharp needle in his hearts. She knew, he thought, but didn't want what he could actually give her.

'I can put you to sleep and you'll either wake up when I trigger it or if you get strong enough to wake up on your own.' He rubbed at his face as he offered to put her into a deep sleep.

'Do it then. I need at least some relief.' She closed her eyes , her last conscious thought was the feathery touch of his fingers on her temples and then a blissful dark oblivion of sleep. The touch didn't stop then though. Once she was unconscious, the Doctor went further. The pain lifted from her nerve endings and flowed through the psychic link into the Doctor's mind. His lips tightened as he pulled as much as he dared from her. If he took it all she would know instantly but he took on most of it. He could handle it until he solved this. His eyebrows furrowed as rolled back his shoulders as if settling the pain on to them like a cloak. Then a grimace as what he knew would happen next did. With the pain came the other emotional drivers that were contributing to her restlessness. Her needs then became his, and they were amplified because apart from the pain, the other emotions were mirrors of his own, even if they'd been dormant for a long time. Long fingers slowly lifted from her temples and he held himself up against the chair, keeping himself on the stool long enough to steady himself and then he built a mental wall around it all that would be just strong enough to resist her minimal psychic skills. 

The Doctor watched her face until she finally relaxed and the pain was now visibly faded. With the pain gone from her, Cee looked like she always did when he visited: happy, content, and open. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered aloud. 'I wasn't here for you when you needed me the most but you're always there for me. No matter how much time passes you're there. Now the one time you need me I wasn't there for you soon enough. I will find out how to get rid of this, I swear.' He picked her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. There he laid her on the bed, gently tucked the covers around her and kissed her softly on the forehead. His gaze rested on her sleeping form. Absentmindedly, he chewed on his thumb. The stirring in the pit of his stomach grew and then moved downwards to his groin. Another side effect that would not easily be hidden behind a mental wall, he thought as he reached a hand down to his crotch and tugged himself into a more comfortable spot in his trousers. He'd find a way. surely it wouldn't take that long to solve this. 'Sleep well.' He whispered softly and stood up straight. The Doctor rubbed at the base of his skull as the steady pain that he had drawn from her settled there behind the wall. It was time he got back to work. 

 

Clara got up to a deathly quiet house. Emerging from the guest room, she passed by the stairs leading to the basement where she paused to listen for the Doctor but heard nothing. She glanced back towards Cee's room and saw the door closed. With a shrug she headed to the kitchen and decided to make something for breakfast. Even with the smell of fresh brewed coffee, no one else appeared for breakfast. Curious, Clara went back to Cee's room and knocked softly and got no answer. Next, she headed to the basement and found the Doctor gone. She smiled to herself and realized that the Doctor was probably with Cee behind closed doors. Which would make sense with how they've both been acting and obviously avoiding any actions or comments that would lead her to think they were more than just old friends. And given that neither of them really committed to where the Doctor would sleep if he decided to. Clara turned and headed back upstairs and settled in to eat breakfast on her own, she'd leave them to it. She smiled at the thought of the Doctor actually having someone in his life that he could just relax with. Although, she did get a bit of an awkward shiver at the notion that their friendship had the potential for some quotation marks around the word. She shrugged to herself and let the thought slip away. After all, she'd had those thoughts about him before and then moved on from them. She was still happy with her decision to not pursue a closer relationship with him. There wasn't any hurry so she took her time and then opted to do some reading while she waited for the other two to wake up. 

It was a bit of a surprise when the first to appear was the Doctor and it wasn't him coming out of Cee's bedroom but casually strolling back in through the front door. 'Clara! Good morning. You've slept in a bit haven't you? I had no one to celebrate when I finally managed to chip a bit off the lump. The noise and light is still going but I've got the chip being analyzed by the TARDIS. We're getting somewhere now!' He clapped his hands together in self-congratulation. 'Ah, coffee! Good of you to make some, Clara. That's got to be the first time ever you've done that for me.' Hiding the pain in his head from Clara was easy. His other problem wasn't noticeable at the moment as he had managed at least some form of relief while he'd been alone in the TARDIS. 

'And it won't become a habit, believe me.' Clara gave him a look of warning. She watched his back as he poured himself a cup of coffee. There was a bit of a tinge of red in his eyes but nothing too noticeable that she could really identify. It must be tiredness or strain from going all night with his study of the lump. Clara mentally kicked herself for thinking that he'd be more interested in reconnecting with Cee before solving this problem. 'I had made some toast but it'll be cold by now but help yourself.'

'Excellent!' Grabbing a slice of toast, he turned around to face Clara and leaned against the counter. 'I don't know yet how long this will take but every bit helps. The TARDIS will let me know when it's finished it's analysis. I'm going to get back to studying it first hand while it works. ' He finished off his toast and emptied the mug of coffee. Brushing the crumbs off his jacket he looked up at Clara. ' You know Clara, this is the first time I've ever been to her home? I'm usually meeting her at her sanctuary. I think what it may be is that this is one main rift anchor point and the sanctuary is at the other anchor point. You know, kind of like a piece of string pinned to a wall. And Cee's built a home at this end where she can take advantage of the modern conveniences but still easily travel to her sanctuary. I should ask her if it would be all right to bring you along there one day. It's a beautiful place. Almost always sunny and the river that runs nearby is just deep enough for a good swim. I know it's been awhile since I've been there but it can't have changed that much at all.'

'And you're rambling on now,' Clara commented and decided to try and find out a bit more about the two of them while he was taking a bit of a break. 'You know, you've not really told me much about you and Cee. She told me how you met but she said you were just giving her a lift home. You told me that you had invited her to travel with you. A bit of a difference there I would have thought.'

'Travelling or giving her a lift home. ' The Doctor dismissed the difference of perspective. 'Same thing. It was almost 1300 years ago for me. You can't expect me to remember tiny little details from that long ago. She was going to get to ride in the TARDIS. Just like every other companion I've travelled with. Just like you, Clara. One trip or many, it was up in the air. All moot though. I mean, I practically killed her doing it. At least I didn't kill her.' He waved his hands in the air as he spoke. 'It was probably what she said, just a lift home. I mean it's probably only been a hundred years or so for her. I'm not going to argue with her about it.'

'Easy, Doctor.' Clara tried to calm him down a bit. 'I wasn't being critical about it. Just trying to understand. The age difference would certainly do that. You're awfully touchy about the subject.'

'I almost killed her, Clara. How would you expect me to be about the subject?' Clara was right, it was a subject he was touchy about and the pressure from the absorbed mix of pain and emotions weren't helping his behaviour. And in his amplified emotional state he didn't stop himself from carrying on about it. 'And you know what, Clara. I almost killed Cee before and now there's a chance I may be doing it again. She never said but do you know it took four days for me to answer her. Four days! I never looked at the psychic paper to see the message until she practically yelled at me.' The Doctor's guilt rose to the surface in spectacular fashion. 'In those four days she wasn't able to sleep or eat or do anything except fight against that damn piece of garbage. And I wasn't here to help her. And now, I can't even begin to understand what it is or how it's hurting her. All I can do is try as hard as I can to solve this while I watch her suffer. Again!' In frustration he threw the empty mug he'd been holding against the wall where it exploded into small pieces. Clara jumped in surprise and ducked the shower of broken ceramic. The Doctor covered his face with his hands and tried not to cry with frustration and building pain. He fought it back just in time and stared out the window, not daring to look at Clara after his outburst.

'Doctor,' Clara came over to him and laid a hand on his arm, comforting him as best she could. 'I know you'll find the answers but you can't go off the rails like this. You haven't been like this since you regenerated. Just calm down and think things through. When you get the results from the analysis maybe that will solve everything.'

'It may solve everything but will it erase the guilt?' The Doctor asked his companion without thinking first. . 'She begged me to help her sleep Clara. And all I can do for her is put her in a near-coma to give her some peace. The last time I did that was when she lay in a bed with a neck brace on to avoid her spine coming apart because I never thought to question how she managed to travel in time to the Middle Ages without a TARDIS. I was selfish and just wanted to travel with her for a time. And the TARDIS bucked her off it just like a bull rider being tossed off the back of the baddest bull alive and slammed her so hard against the wall...' The Doctor stopped talking as he replayed the sight of her flying against the interior door of the TARDIS. He rubbed at his face trying to stop the memory and to try and ease the pain building in his skull. 'Clara, I don't want her to be like that... like this. She's supposed to be alive not almost a corpse.'

'She's not a corpse. You're helping her. If letting her sleep gives her a chance to live and you the time you need to keep her that way then it's a good thing. The same chance you gave her all those years ago. You gave her the chance to heal herself when you couldn't. ' Clara tried to shake some sense into him but he pulled away and kept staring out the window, his back towards her. Clara wouldn't let him be and stood beside him, putting an arm around him to hold him close. She wasn't surprised by his tensing up at her touch, even if she was unaware of the real reason behind his reactions. She ignored it and continued to hold him, even as he felt the stirring between his legs yet again. Thankfully his jacket was long enough to help hide matters, at least for now. 'Don't beat yourself up about almost killing her. Back then, you didn't kill her. You made a mistake and you put things right. You'll do the same now. Then once you've made things right again for her, you can make it up to her. You did the last time didn't you?'

'Did I?' He laughed sarcastically. 'I stayed with her until she was up and walking again and then I left. I left and I went back to my wandering about. Wound up travelling with a new companion and desperately tried to forget what I had done until one day I lost a good friend, wound up in trouble on Gallifrey and then ran back to Cee to hide for a time. I just showed up and acted as if I'd just popped around for coffee and she was exactly the same.' The Doctor looked at Clara sadly. 'Remember when I regenerated? 2000 years old and I've made mistakes. Too many of those mistakes turn out to be the broken bodies of people I've known.' Clara couldn't think of any way to respond and just rested her head against his arm. 'Her though. I've almost broken her twice now and still she wants me to come back. Putting her in a coma keeps her from suffering but the last thought she had when I did was of the time she wouldn't be able to spend with me.' His fingers were restless as he thought about her pain and how she still felt about him.

'Look, why don't you try to get some sleep yourself or some rest. Let the TARDIS do it's thing and when it's done get back to solving this. You know Cee is able to sleep right now. Will she wake up on her own or do you ...' Clara trailed off her question.

'She won't wake up for at least another 8 hours. Maybe more. She was exhausted from the pain and lack of sleep. I put her into a sleep just deep enough that she won't wake up until she's strong enough to do it on her own. Or until I wake her up.' He grimaced at the thought. 'She wanted peace for a time. I gave her time.'

'Go and rest then. You've probably not slept for as long as she has.'

The Doctor stood up straighter and Clara let go of him. Mentally, he pushed every emotion that was running through him down, burying it as deeply as he could behind the wall he'd built. The guilt, the frustration.. everything was blocked off for the moment. 'No, no rest. I've got to use this time to help solve this. I can't let her down again.' He rubbed his eyes and Clara saw that they were redder than before. Whatever it was between them it was really affecting him badly. She only wished that he trusted her enough to open up to her to get things off his chest. 

Time was what Cee now had, thanks to the Doctor but the price he was paying was higher than he had imagined. While Cee slept through the day, the Doctor had made three trips back and forth to the TARDIS to run further tests on the chip with absolutely no results yet. As well he had brought back numerous other instruments to test every element he could think of. 

Clara sat in the chair off and on throughout the day and watched the Doctor work. She was fascinated by his intensity and focus. Not once did she dare to interrupt him as he worked away. When he did pause between various tests she offered to make him something to eat but he declined her offers. However, when she did get herself a coffee she brought down a coffee for him, guessing at what he took in it. She got a mumbled thanks from him as he paused only briefly to take a large gulp of the over-sweetened drink and went back to his current test. 

The Doctor didn't notice until some time had passed that he was alone in the basement. Only a faint smell of something cooking from upstairs drew his attention from the results of his last test. A faint memory triggered by the smell prompted once more a stirring in his crotch and brought his attention back to the pain and the emotions that coursed through the deepest part of his mind. Blinking, he realized what he was smelling. Chicken soup. The kind that Cee liked to make all the time. He'd always found it far too salty and processed but the amplified emotions and memories washed over him. He smiled at the thought that Cee was up and about and making dinner for them. Laying down the instruments on the workbench, the Doctor took the stairs two at a time in anticipation of seeing Cee up and about. He was about to comment on the joys of home cooking as he entered the kitchen. Mouth open he practically skidded to a stop as he saw Clara and not Cee at the stove, stirring a pot of soup. 'Ah, I hope there's enough for two there. Didn't realize I was hungry.'

'Of course there is Doctor. I have no idea what it'll taste like. Can't be too bad though. Chicken with Rice. '

'Is very nice.' The Doctor said, unthinking. He blinked as Clara chuckled at the silly rhyme he'd come up with 'Ah, uh, sorry... Cee would always say that whenever.' He coughed and opted to turn away and get some bowls down from the cupboard. 

'I thought it may be something she likes to eat. She's practically got a case of this down in the cupboard there. I thought the smell of it cooking may help her wake up and eat but no luck. Is it a favourite of yours too then?' Clara asked as she gently stirred the warming soup.

'Hers,' He mumbled, surprisingly he felt disappointed by Clara's presence. He'd desperately wanted it to have been Cee. He sat down at the table, thankful that it would hide his literally growing condition from Clara. 'It's processed and too salty. I think Cee needs more salt than others. She's got crackers around here somewhere if you want those too, salted tops I believe the package reads. Unhealthy I always thought.'

'Skip the crackers then. The soup should be good enough on it's own.' 

After they had eaten and spent some time drinking water to help counter the saltiness of the soup, Clara rolled back her shoulders. 'You should rest at some point Doctor. Your eyes look like you've been in a fight they're so red. I know I'm going to call it a night. ' She got up and put the dirty bowls in the sink. 'I'll wash up in the morning.' As she walked past the Doctor, who just sat at the table idly turning the glass of water he'd been sipping over the course of the meal, she squeezed his shoulder gently. 'Seriously, Doctor. Rest tonight. You won't help her by wearing yourself out.'

'Hm?' He glanced up at Clara, breaking out of his reverie. 'Of course. Rest.' He parroted back the word and not really accepting the suggestion. His gaze slipped back to the glass turning in his hands, losing himself in his thoughts. 

'You're incorrigible.' She sighed and lightly swatted him on the back of the head. He huffed and rubbed at the spot she had hit him. 'That should knock some sense into you. Get some rest or you'll be absolutely useless. Even Time Lords need to sleep sometimes.' Clara left him alone in the kitchen with his thoughts and headed to bed.

The glass in his hands kept turning around as he watched the water move. His mind kept ticking over between all of his test results and the constant battle to control the pain and emotions. The first time it had been so much easier. Then they had just met and it had been primarily the pain stemming from her broken neck that he'd had to battle with. Although, even then there had been an undercurrent of need and desire but that had slowly built as their relationship had grown. Now that so much time had passed and they'd shared so much since the emotions were almost worse to cope with than the pain. He bit his lip and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Thinking about the emotions brought his attention back to his crotch. The Doctor couldn't sit still at the table any longer. Getting up, he thought about going to the TARDIS but decided instead to just go outside for some fresh air. He left by the garden door and stepped out into the dark night onto a small back deck. A couple of steps led down to the small garden that Cee had managed to keep going. It was autumn though and most of the few flowers that grew had withered and browned. 

The Doctor sat heavily on the middle step, the length of his legs stretching out towards the garden path. He was able to spread his legs a little and get a bit of relief from the tightness of his erection. He really hadn't realized how intense her feelings for him were. Too many faces hadn't felt close to her, not the way he had first felt. Then the disaster of the second. He rubbed his face at the memories of spending oh so much time with her at the sanctuary, helping her build it but only very rarely wanting to share a physical connection with her. The emotions had all been there but not the sexual part of it. And then the wars – interrupting his life. A smile formed on his lips when he let his memories call back to mind his tenth regeneration. He had been the one that was hurting badly but the toll had been emotional and Cee had welcomed him back and repaid him with the patience and the comfort he had needed. And now here he was practically back at square one with her.

The cool night air wrapped around him and cooled his neck, especially at the base of his skull where the pain had settled. Unbuttoning his jacket he shrugged it off and let it fall to the deck behind him. Not satisfied with that he did the same with his waistcoat. Once in his shirt sleeves the cool air had the most effect on him, clearing his head somewhat. He'd had temporary relief from his hurried masturbation earlier when he'd gone to the TARDIS but it was only ever temporary. He knew that the only thing that would stop the escalating urges and pain would be to stop the direct psychic link and release it all back to Cee. And he would not do that. He had to keep it from her. Leaning back against the steps, he stared up at the sky for some time, the stars dimmed by the moonlight. Vaguely he rhymed off the constellations in his head to try and distract himself but failed in the attempt. Instead the Doctor closed his eyes, reached down with his right hand and started to massage his erection through his trousers. The cool air reminded him of the times he'd spent with Cee at the sanctuary. Just the two of them in a natural paradise, doing as they pleased whenever they wanted. Without thinking he unzipped his trousers and freed himself. He gasped softly at the rush of cool air against the heat of his hardened member. If he thought that the night air alone was going to cool him off he was wrong. Instead it seemed to make it worse as he recalled the countless nights of passion he'd shared with Cee in the past. Different bodies with different passions but the core of their connection was always the initial bonding of two kindred souls who could understand each other on levels that others couldn't. His lips parted slightly as his hand moved up and down the length of his erection, not hurried this time. Thoughts of what she had done to him to bring him to the point of no return each time, changing with the different regenerations but she had an instinct as to what would trigger him every time. First there was the fascination she'd had with his chest, where her lips could reach without standing up on her toes against his long body. Then the second regeneration, the long moments of just kissing one another. Lazing in the river time and time again, putting off leaving so many times just because the day was warm and the river current gently coursing over their bodies. His hand slid over his erection and began building to a faster frenzy with each memory of each different first time. And now the way she was with him, he let out a choked growl from the base of his throat as the harsh reality that faced him now broke over him. He sat up with a jerk and, elbows on his knees he buried his face and began to cry. Because right now, he didn't know what she would do with him. He couldn't even assure himself that there would be any of those moments with her, with this body. As the tears streamed down his cheeks and into his hands it was as cathartic as an orgasm would have been just at the opposite end of the spectrum. 

'Doctor?' There was a squeak as the back door opened and Clara's voice broke through the silence of the night. 'Are you alright?'

'Leave me alone.' He rasped at her, not looking back towards her. The Doctor dare not turn to look at her and began to panic slightly as he realized that his member, thankfully no longer painfully erect, was still exposed to the night air. Trying to look normal, he awkwardly pushed it back into his trousers and to cover the sound of the zipper going up, 'I just want to be alone right now.'

'You may want to be alone but sometimes it doesn't mean you should be.' Clara folded her hands across her chest, hugging the dressing gown around her against the chill night air. 

'No, you're right. As always,' He muttered under his breath 'control freak'. 'I'd still like to be left alone right now despite your ideas to the contrary.' He began to wonder how long she'd been at the door. He felt his face burn at the thought of her having witnessed him masturbating. 

'Friends don't let their friends suffer in silence.' Clara said and then moved to sit beside him on the step. 'You still haven't rested have you?'

'No.' His tone was flat. They both sat in silence in the dark. The Doctor wasn't willing to volunteer any words and Clara was unsure of what to say next. Finally, the Doctor cleared his throat, turned his face only enough to look at her from the corner of his eye and asked: 'How long were you standing there?'

Clara paused to think of her answer. Did she lie to him or tell him the truth that she'd been there long enough to know what he'd been doing. Instead of saying anything at first she reached over and took his hand in hers, he felt her squeeze his hand gently. Then, she whispered. 'Too long.'

The Doctor pursed his lips. His worst nightmare come true it seemed. 'Too long.' He repeated and stared into the darkness as he pulled his hand away from her touch.

'Would it help if I said I understand?' Clara asked. All she got in response was a negative snort. 'There's friends and then there's friends. It's all a matter of degree.'

He still didn't dare to look at her, afraid that embarrassment would cause him to damage his friendship with Clara further. 'And what do you understand Clara?' he threw out the challenge.

'I understand that you share something intense with Cee. Something incredibly different than you have shared with anyone else you've travelled with. And I think that a good part of that intensity is wrapped in a big helping of guilt. Although I think it's a misplaced guilt. She's obviously forgiven you for anything you've done in the past. It's time you did too.'

'She forgave me for what she knows I've done to her. What she can't forgive is what I've done to myself.' His hands picked at the crease in his trousers. 'Right now, I feel like I've done nothing but use her. Use her for my own ends.' His jaw seemed to jut out further and a scowl creased his forehead. 'I go to her when I'm angry at what the universe has done to me and to the people I've cared about. I go to her when I need to heal myself or to fix the TARDIS. I've gone to her to hide away from the enemies I've made. How do you forgive yourself for that?'

'And every time that you run to her, what does she do?' Clara asked in response.

He rested his forehead against his forearms, looking down at the ground beneath his feet. Clara's hand rested gently on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. Through gritted teeth he admitted aloud: 'With open arms. Never asking, never wondering. Just accepting that I'm there for that time with her. Oblivious to the fact that I'm using her.'

'How do you know that she's oblivious.'

'Would you care so much about someone if you knew they were just using you?' This time he shot her a sharp look. 

'I think that the great Time Lord has got his facts wrong again.' Clara said, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning her head against his arm. 'How long have you known her?'

'I believe it's been around 1300 years for me.'

'And for her?'

'Probably about 100 years.'

'How many regenerations?'

'She's seen four of my faces.' He answered. 'It wasn't until my fourth regeneration that I met her. Then my fifth regeneration visited her often. There was a trial, a time war, faces that were too busy to find time to be with her. Then my tenth face, regret drove me to her. Then there was River. ' He looked at his hands, his fingers straying to the ring and playing with it. 'It feels like I abandoned her for River. I couldn't be bothered to give her the time of day because I was so wrapped up in the joys of finding someone who I could be so intimate with and travel with. To grab River's hand and run through the universe, through time if complicated by us travelling in two different directions. And now, this face.' He sighed. 'The one that didn't come because he wanted to, but because he was called. Like you do, when you call the TARDIS, snap your fingers and I'm there.' 

'Did you want to visit her?' Clara asked.

'Yes.' He admitted it aloud. 'The time would never be right. Or I'd be caught up travelling with you.' He shifted his feet, scuffing the ground a bit. 'There's always been a reason to not visit her. I wanted the first time with this face to be simply because I wanted to be here. A poor excuse for a friend. Finding reasons to not be here.' His smile was grim. 'And no matter what, she takes whatever I give her. Tell me Clara. How do I forgive myself for being that kind of a friend.'

'I remember a time when I tried to push a friend too far and made him go to hell and back for me. And that friend forgave me and asked me to continue to travel with him. He's what I deserved he said.'

'Damn you Clara.' The Doctor looked at her. 'You make it sound like she's penance for all of my sins.'

'No, Doctor. She's the muse that restores you to balance. And right now, I think that you're missing that balance. It's like when you had just regenerated. Confused, not sure, in a fog, a big mess of chemicals or something.' She nudged against him. 'I know that when I was like that I needed a hand from an old friend to get my head straightened out.'

He grimaced slightly. 'The straightening out you needed was neither painful or .. ' He stopped short.

Clara bit her lip. 'Sexual?' She had to say it or else it would hang between them unsaid for ever. He lifted his hands off his knees and then let them fall again. 'I'm not a fool Doctor. You may not talk about the subject but I know that some things are universal. In 21st century terms, I'd guess when you say friends you mean friends with benefits?'

He shot her a look of disgust at her choice of words. 'Another attempt to put a human label on an alien relationship.' His hands ran through his hair, leaving him dishevelled. 'You shouldn't have seen that at all. I'm sorry you did. You were never meant to see that part.. uhm.. side of me. Very few people have. You weren't to be one of them. I don't feel that way about you.' He spoke the words and then realized how it sounded. the Doctor looked at her in anguish. 

'I'm glad of that.' Clara laughed at his unwitting discomfort and knew that his discomfort was because he had no idea how she felt about him. After having seen this side of him, with Cee, she knew that even if she had wanted to she would never have been able to handle him in that way. With that realization, she said: 'I love travelling with you Doctor, but I could never see myself in bed with you.'

'Why does that sound like it could be an insult and a compliment at the same time?' The Doctor shot her a look. 

'You're adorable, Doctor. Loveable. Cute. So many adjectives suit you. But to put it bluntly I don't find you fuckable.' 

'That's a relief.' The Doctor sighed. 

'Remember, I did fancy a soldier. So I think that definitely rules you out as my type.' She was trying to get him to laugh now. 

'I'm well aware of how faulty your taste in boyfriends is. I've risen above that though.' 

Clara couldn't help the look on her face at the ill-timed wording. She giggled and bit her lip to try and stop herself but failed, especially when she caught his look of total puzzlement. 'You were certainly rising tonight.' Her eyes shot down to his crotch before she could no longer stop her fit of giggling.

The Doctor's face blanched as he caught onto what she was referring to. He groaned at the connotations and covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. Her giggling was infectious and he did wind up grinning himself. 'Under absolutely no circumstance is this evening to ever be mentioned to Cee. It is entirely bad enough that you witnessed what you did and I really do not need the two of you snickering behind my back about it.'

Clara laughed, 'I promise never to tell. Cross my single human heart.'

The Doctor ran his hand over his face, He knew the pain was still there as was the amplified longing but for now Clara had managed to take his mind off both. 'Clara, my Clara. Thank you for being the friend you are. '

'You're welcome, Doctor. I'm going to bed now. Why don't you go to bed as well.'

'I'd rather sit here than sleep on that couch.' The Doctor said. 

'Doctor, skip the couch. Go to Cee.' She looked down at him. 'This time, do as you're told.'

'Yes, boss.' The Doctor answered her meekly, he wasn't up to any more arguments or debates. He watched as she left to return to her bed. After a few more moments, he stood and gathered up his jacket and waistcoat. He did consider going to the couch to lie down but for a change he decided to do as Clara told him. He opened the door to Cee's room and stepped into the dimly lit room. He draped his jacket and waistcoat over the back of a chair in the corner and took his shoes off. Standing in his socks, he gazed at her. He was still amazed at how beautiful a soul she had to put up with him. She lay there as he had placed her earlier, tucked up under the covers and asleep on her back. The Doctor pulled the covers back on the other side and slid into the bed beside her, still clothed. He nestled in close to her, draping his arm over her waist. Being so close to her brought back old memories of other close moments. It also meant a direct physical contact with her which meant the link was the strongest it could possibly be between them. The emotions that had been raging through him levelled off as it became shared between them but he still kept back the pain from her. A balance Clara had said, she was actually quite smart the Doctor thought and then noting to himself to never say that in her presence else she'd be absolutely unbearable.

Cee stirred slightly in his arms bringing his attention squarely and solely back onto her. Unconsciously she snuggled in closer to his body. He sighed happily and tightened his hold on her just a little. His lips pressed against the nape of her neck, kissing her softly. Her only response was a soft breath of pleasure through her sleep-bound body. It was enough for him though, he was happy to hear her content and free for now of the pain. Clara had helped clear his mind earlier from the fog that had descended on him since the psychic linking but that was only from his own emotional turmoil. 'Just like before, Cee. All those years ago. Helping you recover.' His words were spoken in the very softest of tones. His fingers brushed against her cheek and his eyes drifted over her. 'I remember each time, Cee. Every single time. And when I'm alone with no one travelling with me I remember and I think of you. If only instead of just thinking of you I would come and visit you.' He kissed her again and let his fingers caress her where they rested against her stomach. The contact between them was close enough that the subtle change in her breathing was instantly noticed by him. 'I want to tell you I'm sorry. I know you'll hear this somewhere deep in your mind but it's not the right kind of sorry. That will come, later. For now though this will have to do for both of us.' Fingers slid over her stomach and up and then cupping her left breast through the nightshirt she wore. The lightest of moans escaped her lips. A hardening nipple pushed against the fabric was like a target for his touch. More kissing along the line of her shoulder and then a soft pinch of her nipple between his thumb and forefinger drew another sigh of passion from Cee. Gently, he thought to himself, it's her body reacting instinctively not her consciousness. He was getting aroused again as he pressed against her soft, warm body but this time he was with her and the intensity was shared if only at a most base level. 

Burying his forehead against the crook of her neck, he pulled her towards him as he shifted his hips to mold around her body. Her heartbeat sped up slightly and he felt it through her skin. Parting his lips, he darted his tongue out to taste the slight saltiness of her skin. The Doctor moaned himself as he ground against her hip. There was nothing subtle now as he slid his hand down between them and undid his trousers. Another moan escaped his lips as he pushed his trousers and underwear down enough to release his erection. With a quick move of his hand and he had tugged her nightshirt up so that it was only skin on skin for them. His breathing grew deeper to match the rhythm of her heart. Then the motion of his hips against hers began to fall into sync as well. Gently, he chided himself silently. No need to rush. More kisses against her soft neck left him wanting even more. Then his fingers found her breast again, caressing her still through the nightshirt. another unconscious response from her and she was tilting her head further to one side to leave him more room to kiss and he took up the invitation with soft nibbling kisses that he trailed over her neck and then shoulder. His erection felt like it was quivering as he slowly moved against her. Fragile again, he thought as the memories of the very first time flooded his mind, and hers, he thought. No, not his memories. These were her memories not his. It was her perspective of being unable to return his touch but able to feel everything. He opened his eyes to look at her face. Deeply asleep but her lips had parted and her face flushed slightly. The Doctor couldn't help himself and he moved to kiss her lips softly, his throbbing member began to ache for a release. Another memory of hers flashed into his mind: he was on top of her now pressing down against her and kissing her as he slid easily into her. The point of view flipped to his memories of that moment, his orgasm had rippled through him so quickly after entering her. They had ached for it for so long by then, practically months of foreplay building to that moment. Memories disappeared and they became the present and he groaned deep in his throat. The release came as he muffled his voice in her shoulder. He slipped his hand from her breast to his erection and stroked himself to make the orgasm last longer. Greedy bastard, was all that went through his head as he came again. Breathless he finally relaxed against her and just listened to her heartbeat running faster, still in sync with his own. 'Oh you,' He whispered. 'Just as bad as me.' He slipped his hand from his finally spent erection to gently touch her. 'Just as bad. Deep asleep but ready to come with me.' His long fingers came away from her, glistening with her own juices. 

Now they would both sleep properly.

 

The Doctor slept for just over two hours before waking just as the dawn light began to edge over the horizon. He had cradled her against him as he'd slept. In that time he had taken all of the pain from her. Now, as he let the fog of sleep fade away, he released some of the pain back to her. He could sense the change in her breathing as it returned but he couldn't risk her finding out that he'd gone against her wishes this time. Slipping out from under the covers he realized the mess he'd left on both of them. 'Bad Doctor.' He muttered and noticed that his underwear had taken the brunt of the soiling after he'd fallen asleep. He slipped out of his trousers, stripped off the offending garment and pulled his trousers back on. Glancing about the room he couldn't find anything else that would suit to finish cleaning up so he rummaged in his jacket pocket and found a handkerchief. With that he was able to tidy up the mess on her hip and then gently wiped her crotch clean. The soiled items were tossed into a half full laundry basket in the corner of the room. He tucked in his shirt tail and then tugged it straight. Lacing up his shoes, he left Cee to sleep on. 

 

Hours later, the Doctor was still at the work bench focused intently on solving the riddle of this lump. Since he'd woken up his mind had been clear and steady without anything other than the pain. Only now it was just his frustration over this damned space garbage. Every test he tried came back with nothing. Every instrument he used was useless against it. There was absolutely no information that he could glean from it. The only thing he'd been able to manage was to have chipped off the bit that the TARDIS was analyzing. He laid down his tools and sat back. 'What are you?' He asked out loud. 'Why are you so toxic to her? Why do you register nothing at all? Absolutely nothing.' The Doctor froze. 'Nothing. Oh Doctor you are an idiot!' He raced up the stairs and found Clara reading in the front room. 'Has she woken up at all?'

'No, nothing at all. I looked in on her about an hour ago and still asleep.' Clara laid her book to one side. 'Have you found something?'

'I have, well, actually I've found nothing.' The Doctor grinned. 'Which is SOMETHING!' He cried out. 'Come downstairs. I need your help.' He gestured for her to follow him and headed back to the basement. 'You see Clara. I've been looking for something and totally forgot to look at what was right in front of me. That's why I've found nothing. I was looking in the wrong direction.'

'Not following.' Clara looked at him. 

'Right, let's look at the facts that we know. That lump came flying out of the rift in a flash of sparks so hard that it slammed hard enough into this wall.' He ran over to the wall and slapped it. 'See. Chips of concrete all over. But here's the interesting bit. I was only able to chip a little bit off the lump. And where did I get it from? Guess?'

'Where it hit the wall?' Clara guessed.

'And the student is teaching the teacher!' The Doctor spread his arms in glee. 'Yes, where it hit the wall. And I think the only reason I was able to do that was because it had already been weakened by just having come from the rift. Just weak enough for me to break it off. Now, the second fact we know, well what I know and you wouldn't as I haven't told you yet, is that that chip was analyzed by the TARDIS and it came back with ... care to guess again?'

'Nothing?' Clara hazarded a guess.

'Two for two! You may ace this test yet, Clara. The TARDIS doesn't see it at all. It knows it's there but it can't tell what it's made of at all. Now here's the interactive part of the test. Do you see that box I've drawn on the floor there?' Clara nodded. 'Go and stand on that spot.' Clara did and turned to face the Doctor. 'Notice anything?' She shook her head. 'Good, now I want you to go over and touch that lump.'

'Okay.' Clara shrugged and did as she was told. 'Nothing. It doesn't do anything. All I can tell is that small amount of drumming noise and the light.'

'Right and when you walk away from it, it disappears. Now, watch.' The Doctor stepped into the box and then held out his hands. Clara could see the hair on the back of his hands standing up. 'This spot is precisely where the rift portal opens. It doesn't react to you at all because you've only been travelling in the TARDIS for a short time. After 2000 years I've been exposed to the time vortex constantly. Now, next fact. I can recharge the TARDIS by using rift energy. It needs to be converted but it can be used. And when I touch the lump, " He walked over to the workbench and put his hand on the lump. Again the hair on the back of his hands stood up and the pulsing light very barely increased. 'And again, it's only when I'm practically in direct contact with it. Like you.'

'And the only one who it reacts to strongly is Cee and she's the only one who can actually walk through the rift.' Clara started to put it together herself but wasn't finding a solution out of it. 'Where does this lead to?'

'Ah, but watch this. It came through the rift, Cee travels through the rift. So,' The Doctor picked up the lump and began to walk to the rift portal point. Clara reached out to stop him but he waved her off. 'Wait.' He stepped right into the spot and held the lump up for Clara to see. 'Nothing different happens.'

'Nothing. So if nothing happens when you touch it or even take it near the rift then you should be able to take it on the TARDIS and get rid of it.'

'Well, I'm hoping so.' The Doctor said with a bit of an anti-climatic tone to his voice. 'I need to wake Cee up and have her test it as well. '

'Doctor, no, don't put her through that.' Clara winced at the thought of what it would do to Cee.

'I don't want to Clara. Believe me, it's the last thing I want to do but if she's the only one affected by it is it because she can activate the rift? Or is it reacting to the rift energy that she's absorbed over time. I need to know what the catalyst is. If it's solely tied to Cee then yes I should be able to take it on the TARDIS and get rid of it. So far away that it will never hurt her again.'

'And if it's not then?"

He clasped his hands, wringing them. 'Well, then I'll ah, be wrong? But I'm really hoping that I'm right.'

'I'm going to be right here watching every single moment of this Doctor. You may push her too far but I'm not going to let you go to the point where you'll regret anything more.' Clara warned him. 

"That's why I keep you around, Clara.' The Doctor grinned and bolted up the stairs. Clara just watched him go and opted to stay and wait for them to come back.

The Doctor softly knocked on Cee's door and got no answer. He opened her door slowly and poked his head in. He could see her still lying in the bed in the same position as he had left her in the morning. With a heavy heart, he approached the bed and stood there, looking down at her. 'Before I wake you up, I want you to know something and I think you'll remember what I say no matter how deeply you sleep.' The Doctor whispered in the dim light. He laid a hand on her head, making a physical connection between them to imprint his thoughts on her. 'I know that I've not been reliable over all these years and regenerations. I've ignored you for centuries but not always for good reasons and that weighs heavily on me. I know that all you've ever wanted from our time together is the same thing I've wanted. Comfort. You've never asked or demanded any commitment from me and I've never thought of placing any boundaries over how you live your life when I'm not there. When we first met so very long ago, we both knew that it wasn't going to be a temporary or fleeting arrangement. Clara seems to think we're friends with benefits but that's not it at all. I believe that what we share is understanding and acceptance of what we can do and what we can't do. I could never promise you that I will always be there for you but what I can say to you is that you will forever be in my hearts.' His long fingers stroked her hair. Bending over he kissed her lightly on the forehead and then on her lips. As he did so, he let his fingers move to her temples and gently woke her from her sleep but he didn't release the psychic link entirely. The Doctor continued to pull most of the pain away from her.

With a gasp she woke up and before she could open her eyes she returned his kiss. 'Doctor,' she breathed his name. 'Thank you.' Cee pressed her forehead against his for a time before opening her eyes to gaze at him. 'I feel a bit better. The pain .. ' She lifted her hand slowly to her head, 'The sleep helped a lot but it's still there.'

'I know, it's still there. I'm sorry. I haven't solved it yet but I think I'm close and then it'll be all gone.' He smiled softly. 'I want you back to being you again. I miss you.' The Doctor kissed her again on the lips and this time she responded. 

'I've missed you too, Doctor.' Cee replied finally. 'Now, what do we need to do to finish this.'

'Time to get up sleepy head,' The Doctor grinned. 'I think that this time, it's all about you.' He held out his hand and she grasped it. 'And if it is about you, then it'll be a quick end.' He helped her out of bed, wrapped a dressing gown around her shoulders before he led her down to the basement. 

'Cee! How are you feeling now?' Clara asked as the two of them returned, she noted the way the Doctor kept hold of her hand.

'Better but the pain is still there. At least with some sleep I can handle it. Thanks to you, Doctor.' 

"Okay, here's what we're going to do.' The Doctor led Cee to the rift portal point. "The lump reacts only to you. I tested it while you slept. When either I or Clara touch it it does nothing. Well, okay, when I touch it my hair stands on end but that's it. So then I carried it to the rift portal. And nothing happened. That chip I was able to get off it, the TARDIS could only say that something was there but absolutely nothing else. But what happened when you went near it. Bam! It starts to get excited. The only other time it was excited was when it came through the rift. It was active enough to feel the impact of the wall. That's the only reason why I was able to get the chip off it.' The Doctor grabbed her by the shoulders. 'I need you to open the rift from as far away as possible so I can test if the lump reacts to the rift itself.'

Clara blinked in amazement. "Doctor! Are you mad? If she's near that and it goes as crazy as it did when it arrived.' 

'Clara! Shush! Cee, I know the risks but if you're as far away as you can be, then I can approach from the opposite direction. I should have more than enough warning to stop before it gets too bad. Look, we already know that there's a safety zone for you away from it. I'm hoping that if you can stay in that safety zone and still activate the rift then it should be okay.' The Doctor peered at Cee as he theorized. 'Please. If you can activate the rift and the lump doesn't get excited then I can throw it right on back through the rift.' He gestured with his hands as if sending the lump away into the sky. 'Whoosh! Gone!' 

'No!' Cee shook her head. 'If you throw it into the rift it'll fly randomly on the paths. I won't be able to control where it lands. If it lands in the sanctuary then I'll be blocked from ever going there. Hell, anywhere it lands I'll never be able to go there again. Or what if it blows up the portal by reacting to it. You saw what it was doing when it came through. Don't ask me to sacrifice my freedom Doctor.' She grabbed his hands begging him to think of another way. 'If it's only me that it reacts to then take it on the TARDIS and throw it into a black hole or something.'

The Doctor stood there with his mouth open. 'I.. No, I wouldn't do that. Not to you. Never.' He tried to backtrack as he realized what the potential outcome would be of his quick fix plan. He grabbed her and held her close in a hug. Her hands grasped his shirt in a tight grip. 'Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't think it through. The TARDIS, of course. Definitely. ' 

Clara watched the panic in both of them with the prospect of what may have happened. 'Doctor?' Clara asked, her voice broke into his thoughts and he quickly stepped away from Cee and turned to her. 'If Cee activates the portal and you bring it near, even if it reacts to the portal or not, won't you know that it won't damage the TARDIS?'

'Don't you see, Clara? If it only reacts to Cee then I know it's 100% safe to take it on the TARDIS. If it reacts to the rift on it's own then I don't know if I could risk it. The TARDIS can still convert raw rift energy.'

'If it does react and you can't take it on the TARDIS,' Cee spoke quietly. 'Then I want you to take it as far away as you can from here on the planet and bury it. '

'How would I get there?' The Doctor asked, dumbfounded by her request. 

'I don't care!' She cried out before turning and running up the stairs. They both were too shocked to stop her until they heard a door slam shut. The Doctor stood there, unsure of what to do. Clara came over and rubbed his arm. 

'Go to her, Doctor. Whatever you need to do to help her, you'll do it. If you have to travel the slow way then do that. ' He hesitated. 'Daft old Doctor. You've known her for centuries. You've probably loved her the whole time. Don't be shy now. Go to her.' She pushed him towards the stairs.

'What? Clara? What do you mean?' The Doctor looked back at her as he started up the stairs. 'Love? Where'd that come from?' He shook his head and ran up the stairs. Clara stood there and shook her head in disbelief that he wouldn't have realized what his own hearts were telling him the whole time.

 

The Doctor ran up the stairs and stopped at the closed door leading to Cee's bedroom. He went to grab the doorknob to open it when he stopped. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the door and silently cursed at himself for his stupidity. Softly, he knocked with no response. 'Cee?' He called out and knocked again. With a sigh of relief he felt the doorknob turn and she opened the door to him. She turned her back on him. 

'I'm sorry, all I was thinking of was the fastest possible way to resolve this.' He stepped towards her, slowly reaching a hand out to rest it on her shoulder. 'Look, why don't we take a few minutes and let you wake up a bit before we go testing anything and then going from there.'

She reached up and put her hand on his, squeezing it lightly. 'Doctor, I know you only mean well. I know.' She turned and smiled at him. 'Coffee and then we test. No hasty actions though. Let's think everything over before we do anything.'

They left her room and made their way to the kitchen. 'Clara! We're going to wait a bit before we do any more testing. Come on up and we'll have a chat over some coffee.' The Doctor called down to his companion and then followed Cee into the kitchen. There, he watched as she busied herself with making some coffee for them all. As he waited, he rubbed the back of his neck at the base of his skull. The pain that he'd taken on from Cee sat there, pulling on him. At least the amplified emotions had remained settled down. 

'So, if the test works out the way you expect it to Doctor, you'll be able to take it on the TARDIS and take it away. That should leave Cee in peace right?' Clara asked. 

He blinked and turned his attention back to the two of them. Without noticing, they had both sat down at the table and he had a cup of coffee in his hands. Looking at it he tried to focus on the conversation. 'Sorry. Was lost in thought there.'

'No you weren't.' Cee looked at him. 'I know when you're thinking and that was not your thinking face.'

'This is a new face, Cee.' He reminded her, trying to be flippant. 'I'm sure that my looks would be different too after I regenerate.' Cee stood up and came to stand right in front of him. She gazed at his eyes. 'What?' He tried to take a sip of his coffee, found it too hot and put it down on the counter. 'You're looking at me funny. Why?' He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to smile disarmingly at her. 'I probably shouldn't have left you asleep so long, but you were so exhausted. I hope you're not upset about that.'

'Red eyes? You can go days without sleep without it bothering you, Doctor.' Her eyes bored into his. 'You didn't... Doctor.. you didn't ... '

He grimaced, knowing that she had figured it out. 'Cee, you were in pain. I was putting you in the sleep and it was too strong. If I didn't you wouldn't have been able to sleep, the effect would really only have been a paralysis to kill the pain signals from your nerves. At least now, you're feeling better and should be able to manage the testing. Then I'll know and I'll be able to get this all .. ' Before he could finish her palm connected with his cheek hard enough to leave a red mark on his cheek and he could taste blood in his mouth. 'Ow!' He rubbed at his cheek and, drawing his hand away, he saw a light trace of blood on his fingers. 

'I said sleep! Not take it all onto yourself. You had no right to do anything more than that. No right!' She punched him in the chest, still angry at him.

Clara sat in shock, watching the two of them.

'I had to help you. You were in pain. I can't bear it when you're in pain.' He looked at her and held her by the shoulders. 'I'm stronger, I've been able to manage it. Once the tests are done I'll break the link.'

"I told you never again and here you are doing it again! Break the link now! If I can't manage on my own then I can't. It's not up to you.'

He stared at her, not wanting to do as she asked. 'The pain though. It'll be worse than before, it hasn't stopped building up, it's just been building in me instead. The tests could break you. Don't ask me to do that to you. Not when I can take it on for you. You do so much for me,' The Doctor tried to remind her. 

'Because you ask me to help you. I don't just willy nilly do things without you knowing about it.' 

'And you would never ask me to do this for you. You never ask me to help!' The Doctor countered. 'Because you're too stubborn to let me help you! So of course I'm going to do this for you without you saying it's okay. I won't let you do this to yourself.'

'Break the link.' She looked at him without flinching. 'Now.'

'No.' He tried to take a stand. 'I'm not going to see you suffer.' His fingers rested on her cheeks. 'No.'

'Damn you.' She pushed him away. 'Get out of my head.'

'Cee,' The Doctor took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. 'The link is never truly broken, it never has from the first time we linked together. You know it's always there. As soon as I landed the TARDIS...'

'Get out of my head.' Her voice steeled as she asked again. The Doctor sighed, shook his head. 'Break the link. Stop leeching the pain onto yourself. If you keep the pain and we do the tests the only thing you'll be doing is racing off to the TARDIS and getting rid of that thing. I don't even want to try and understand what may happen if you kept the pain and flew off in the TARDIS.'

'Distance weakens it, but it won't break the link. Nothing will break it. How do you think you can reach me with the psychic paper. How do you think I always know where you are.'

Her hands clenched into fists, ready to punch him again. 'Give me back the pain. It's not yours to take!'

'You're both too damned stubborn.' Clara finally broke in. 'Doctor, do what she asks. You know she's right. You may always be linked but it took four days before you heard her call on the psychic paper.'

'Clara, that's different.'

'Break the link, Doctor.' Clara said. 'Do as you're told.'

The Doctor looked at Clara and then back to Cee. 'I don't want to.'

'You have to.' Cee told him. His shoulders dropped, hanging his head for a moment he closed his eyes. The Doctor gave in and lifted his fingers up to Cee's temples. He touched her and then he broke the direct link. The pain released from him and flooded back through her brain. Gasping she sagged into his arms. He held her up and then managed to sit her down in one of the chairs. Her hand gripped his forearm, the knuckles turning white as her grip tightened. 'Let's get the tests done.' Her words came through gritted teeth. 

With the coffee forgotten, the three of them headed back to the basement. The Doctor, his mind was perfectly clear now so he directed Cee: 'Now, how far away from the portal can you be and still open it. It doesn't have to be fully open. Just enough to trigger the rift energy. I'll then move the lump towards it. Hopefully it'll remain out of range of the worst of the pain.'

'Be ready.' Cee said and moved towards the rift portal. She knew the range and, at the farthest point away, she motioned with her right hand. A light started to shimmer in the air and then coalesced into a small opening. Clara stood transfixed at the sight. Then the Doctor began to move the lump closer to the portal. 

'If it gets too bad, let me know and I'll stop.' The Doctor watched her as he slowly paced forward.

'Just do what you have to do.' Cee grimaced as she held the rift open. The pain increased with every step the Doctor took towards the rift. 

Clara watched the lump as the Doctor moved and saw that it wasn't doing anything differently. 'Doctor, it's not changing.'

'Shush.' He kept moving, concentrating on Cee and the lump. Sweat was forming on her forehead as the pain got worse. The Doctor stood right on the point of the portal and the only reaction was the same one that he had seen when Cee approached it without the rift being open. He bit his lip and looked up at Cee. The look they exchanged was barely noticed and he took a step beyond the rift towards her. After only another two steps did the lump change into a brighter glow. 'That's it!' He cried out and turned away from Cee and practically threw the lump away as far from her as he could get it. 'It's only reacting to you. You're the catalyst. Not the rift. If the chip didn't cause any reaction to the TARDIS and it's not reacting to the rift at all. Then it will be safe to take it on the TARDIS and get rid of it.'

At the Doctor's reaction, Cee closed the rift and slumped to the ground. Clara came to her aid and helped her to the floor. The Doctor came to their side and lifted Cee up and settled her on the chair. 'Cee, this will work! I'll be right back!' Before either of the women could do or say anything he was racing up the stairs and out the door.

'How are you doing?' Clara asked as she took a tissue and dabbed at Cee's forehead. 

'Hurts a lot. Never been that close for that long.' Cee's voice cracked. 'He wasn't lying, The pain had been building the whole time he had taken it from me.'

'The Doctor.. ' Clara tried to say something but Cee stopped her with a touch of her hand on Clara's arm.

'Let it be, Clara.' Cee whispered and closed her eyes. Before anything else could be said, the sound of the TARDIS broke the air. The Doctor emerged and quickly scooped up the lump and brought it into the TARDIS. 

'Clara! Come on!' The Doctor waved his companion into the TARDIS. 'Let's get this thing away from here!'

'But Cee.' She looked back and the Doctor craned his neck. 

'She'll be fine. She's sleeping now. Properly sleeping. The faster we get this away the better for her. Come on!' He practically grabbed her by the arm and dragged her in. 

 

The Doctor threw a lever on the console and the TARDIS came to a stop. 'There we are. The edge of a black hole. Far enough away from Earth that there is absolutely no chance of it ever nearing Cee again.' He strode over to the door and threw it open. With a quick move he picked up the lump and heaved it out. The two of them stood there and watched it's dim pulsing light faded as it was pulled into the black hole's gravity field. He turned quickly and went back to the console. 'Now, on to the next stop.'

'Next stop? But we have to get back to help Cee. She'll be needing us.' Clara went to the console by his side and stopped him from setting the coordinates. 

'No.' The Doctor's tone was firm. He'd already made up his mind that Clara would go home and he'd return on his own. 

'What do you mean no? We can't just abandon her to recover on her own. You love her, why would you do that to her.' 

'No. Get it right.' The Doctor glared at her. He pushed Clara out of the way and finished setting the coordinates. 'She doesn't need us.'

'But... Doctor!' Clara tried to stop him again.

'I thought you were more intelligent than this, Clara.' The Doctor looked at her with a mix of frustration and anger in his eyes. 'She doesn't need you.' Clara stood there, somewhat stunned by his tone. He roughly jabbed at the controls to start the TARDIS in motion. 'She needs me, just me.' 

'Doctor, I can help. She's still recovering and I don't mind being there for you and her as a friend.'

'Clara, what do you think you could honestly do to help? Cook? Clean? Wash up?' He paced around the console, making adjustments as they travelled. 'I can manage those on my own for her. There's no special skill needed for that.'

'And what if it takes a long time?' Clara asked, trying to stop him by grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face her. 'You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own for a long time.'

'I don't need you. If it's quick or a long time it doesn't matter. I'm a Time Lord remember. No matter how long it takes I can still be there next week for our next jaunt.' He barked at Clara. The TARDIS stopped and he snapped his fingers to open the door, dismissing her. ' You're home,.I'll see you later.'

'Stop avoiding my questions.' She didn't move away. 

'I didn't realize that I had to have your permission to do things on my own.' The Doctor's tone edged into a dark sarcasm that Clara wasn't liking. 'Just crook your finger and I come running to you to do as you please. I am NOT your servant!'

'No, you're not, but you are an IDIOT!' Clara raised her voice to counter his. 'And you really should stop jumping to conclusions.'

'Like you haven't?' He sneered at his companion. 'You love her.' He mocked Clara's tone. 'I don't love her. Do you think that such a human word could begin to describe my relationship with Cee? For that matter, you don't even know if she's human! Just because you've travelled with me doesn't make you an expert in alien relationship matters.' He crossed his arms and glared down his nose at her. 

Clara stood directly in front of him, challenging him. '2000 years old and thicker than a post, you are. All I saw was you doing everything you could to protect Cee and help her. You even went to the lengths of taking her pain from her against her wishes. And now you have the nerve to yell at me because the word I give doesn't meet the high Time Lord standards for your emotions. I'm sorry I didn't go to the Academy to learn all the right words. I know there's a lot more between you then either of you will admit too. At least not to anyone else and I really hope that you have admitted it to her.' Clara put her hands on his forearms. 'Doctor, I'm only trying to help. If you don't want my help, that's fine. But you don't have to be snappy at me.'

The Doctor shrugged away from Clara and turned his back on her. 'I don't want your help. Not this time. Not with Cee.' 

'Fair enough. That's all you had to say. You didn't need to be all moody and cryptic about it. ' Clara started to walk towards the door. 

'What did you expect then?' The Doctor asked as he watched her walk away, uncomfortable with leaving the mood as it was between them and travelling on.

'After what we've been through together? No more lying. Just the truth. ' She turned back to him. 'I certainly didn't expect to be dumped off the first moment you could without so much as a by your leave.'

'I told you the truth. It's me Cee needs, not you.'

'Only after I had to pull it out of you, kicking and screaming.' Clara looked at him but he wouldn't look her in the eye. 'You're my friend. A very dear, close friend. And a friend who shouldn't be afraid to be honest with me. what do you think I would say or do or even think of you if you were to have told me about Cee before now?'

'An idiot.' He replied after some time to think things over. Clara was his friend and he couldn't stay angry with her over this. Clara had now seen a side of him that he had never meant her to see or know about. The genie was out of the bottle now though. And it was his fault for taking her with him in the first place. If he'd taken her home first they wouldn't be having this conversation, he wouldn't be wondering how their friendship will change because of what she's seen of him. 'That's what you call me at times. It's what I call myself at times. An idiot in a blue box. ' The Doctor finally looked up from the console at Clara, he rubbed his thumb against the palm of his hand unconsciously nervous. 'An idiot who prefers that some of his life remain private and who doesn't understand that he needs to spell it out to those who can't read his mind. I never lied to you Clara, not about Cee. Simply didn't tell you anything for the simple fact that I decided to keep her to myself. A selfish, stupid Doctor idiot. You're the first companion I've ever travelled with who even knows about Cee. You've wondered in the past what I do when I'm alone. Now you know some of it. With previous generations, I've spent time with Cee. Simple as that. I just hadn't worked out yet this time round if I were going to ... ' He paused to search for the right words. 'renew my acquaintance with her. River Song distracted my last regeneration.' The Doctor chewed on his thumb as he went quiet. 

'When I ask you what you do when you're alone it's only because I'm curious. I'm not judging you and honestly Doctor, I think that it's wonderful that you have someone like Cee in your life.. or should I say lives.' Clara smiled. 'She's a very lovely person who I think really understands you.'

The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose to stop him being overly emotional before he responded. 'She does in so many ways, Clara. Ways that others don't. You remember when you began to travel with me? ' She nodded. 'That first time you saw the danger, the adrenaline rush, the thrill of what could happen. Wonders, amazing things to see and do. But when I grab your hand and tell you to run that's all you feel and expect. The here, the now, the moment lived in.' The Doctor circled the console to stand in front of Clara, grabbing her hand and holding it. 'Imagine this touch but feel so much more. Can you feel the tug of the planet's gravity in your spine? The endlessness of space waiting to be seen for the first time. The pulsing of the time vortex waiting to be brought to heel to do as you command? Could you imagine what it would be like for me to hold the hand of someone else that can feel these things?' He opened his hand and let hers fall from his grasp. 'Imagine feeling that in an instant and so wanting to share those feelings in all of space and time.' The Doctor grinned and then in a whirling motion he spun away from her his hands outstretched at the expectant glory. Then he stopped, frozen in spot. 'And then the crashing in of the reality that you can't do all of that. And all of that in the space of not even a day.' His smile turned bittersweet. 'She understands all too well, Clara. She felt everything in the precise same way as I did.' A memory flooded in again of Cee flying through the console room and crashing to the floor. He grabbed the console to steady himself. 'Honesty and curiosity. That's what you wanted Clara.'

'And I'm glad that you finally trust me enough to tell me.' Clara smiled.

'Not much of a choice anymore, with what you've seen these past few days.' The Doctor grumbled. 

'Stop beating yourself up Doctor. You said it yourself, you understand each other in ways that no one else ever could. Your private life is yours and I would never pry into it. What's happened wasn't meant to but it did and I respect that you want it kept between us. If my curiosity ever crosses a line, just tell me and I'll trust you and that you have reasons why you tell me what's going on or not. And Doctor, it works the other way. Trust me.'

'I can only try.' The Doctor shrugged as his features softened. He gestured to her to come over and without any word he hugged her tightly. Clara wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him back, glad that for once he wasn't tense as they hugged.

'That's just fine by me.' Clara said as they parted. 'Now, go to her. Help her and be with her as long as you need. You know when to drop by.' 

 

This time the TARDIS materialized in the basement without incident. Touching the console he then put it in shutdown. The lights dimmed and the console went dark for the time being. He wouldn't be going anywhere for a while and he wanted it to be safe while it was anywhere near her. Leaving the TARDIS, the Doctor stepped out and stood for a moment to look at her. Still asleep in the chair. A quick glance at the clock on the wall told him only 30 minutes had passed for her. With a few quick long strides he was gathering her in his arms and then taking her upstairs. Once in her room, he sat her in the chair and tidied up the bed. He slipped the dressing gown off her and then picked her up to lay her on the bed. Tucking her under the covers, he turned and sat down in the chair to just watch her sleep. Last time he sat vigil for over 6 months while she healed. If he had to do it again, he would. The Doctor was a Time Lord and time was something he had in abundance for her. 

At some point, the Doctor did nod off in the chair as he had watched her sleep. When he woke with a jerk, he glanced around a moment and remembered where he was before looking once more at Cee asleep on the bed. She had curled up into a ball, hugging a pillow against her. The Doctor placed one of his hands over his chest, just resting it there to feel his own heartbeats. He could sit here, he thought, and berate himself for not coming to her sooner. He had meant to so many times. His previous regeneration hadn't even given her a thought. At least the others had had reasons. All he had had was River and to him she had been all-consuming. Even Clara had proven a greater draw on his emotions and that had leeched into his current self. Sitting here with Cee made his hearts hammer in his chest.

Cee moved in her sleep as he watched. The pillow was pushed away and she lay on her back now, a hand on her stomach and the other above her head. Without the link and the pain, he could sit calmly and not let himself be carried away. Even so, he thought to himself, he wanted her. Biting his lip he realized that he wanted her very badly indeed. She moved again in the bed, her hand moving from her stomach to her chest. The Doctor closed his eyes and realized that he was broadcasting to her. She may not have telepathic skill but with their bonding and being this close it wouldn't be missed.

She was waking up now and stirring in the bed, trying to sit up. 'Don't get up if you don't want to, I can fetch anything you need.' He got up from the chair and sat on the side of the bed.

'Doctor?' She blinked a few times to clear her head. 'What happened?'

'It's gone. I dropped it in a black hole. No more bother to you.'

'Good. Just a fucking hell of a headache now.' Her hands were rubbing at her forehead. He couldn't help himself and leaned forward to kiss her there. 'Could you get me a cold cloth?'

'Of course.' He got up and fetched a washcloth from her bathroom, running it under the cold water and wringing it out before re-joining her on the bed. Laying the cold cloth over her eyes, he stroked her cheek. 'How's that? Better?'

'Thanks,' she mumbled and just let the cool cloth work it's magic. 'How's Clara doing? Must be bored by now.'

'I .. ah .. took her home.'

'Ah,' was all Cee said.

'I'm sorry, I should never have brought her here.' He finally broached the subject. 'It was awkward for you, I'm sure.'

'More for you.' Cee told him. After a moment's silence she asked: 'Back to being shy are you?'

'Hm?' He asked as he was refolding the cloth to lay a cooler side onto her forehead.

'Just sitting.' Her hand patted the bed. 'You're welcome to join me.'

'I don't want to bother you.' He said but then felt her hand reach for his, holding it tightly. He opened the link between them and only then could she begin to give him a sense of her mood. He closed his eyes as he felt her conscious emotions wash over him. Cee invited him into her heart and he willingly went with his mind. His body followed, leaning forward on the bed to finally lie beside her, wrapping an arm around her and then feeling her arms snake around him, pulling him close. Once he was beside her, she let go of his hand, breaking the link and settling against him. Her hand took hold of the cloth over her eyes and tossed it away so that she could nuzzle close to his neck. Moments later, he felt her breath on his skin fall into a steady pattern of sleep.

He finally smiled. Despite the years and the distance, the same feelings were still there between them. It would be alright, he realized.

When the Doctor woke in the morning with the warm sunlight on his face, he took in her sleeping face. The lines of pain were fading slowly but they were going away. Leaving her to sleep on, he got up carefully and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. Feeling brave he made a full pot rather than just a quick cup of instant. It had been some time so he took great care in measuring. He'd got it wrong once while at the sanctuary and to this day she still frowned on him making regular coffee.

Coffee on, he went back to her bedroom and sat in the chair to watch over her. Idly, he pulled out his sonic screwdriver playing with the settings, tweaking the subroutines and just killing time really. He heard the soft gurgle of the coffee maker finishing brewing so he got up to get himself a cup. Before he could leave he heard her stir on the bed. 'Coffee?' He asked softly. Cee slowly pulled herself up to lean back against the headboard.

'Yeah, coffee would be great.' With a nod, the Doctor left and came back a minute later with two cups. Temporarily placing them both on the bedside table he joined her again on the bed and then handed her cup over. Wrapping her hands round it,she sipped it and arched an eyebrow at him. 'A little stronger than normal.'

He winced, 'I did measure as per the instructions on the tin.'

'I said a little. I cut back a bit because of the pot size.' She sipped some more and then noticed his crestfallen face. She nudged her knee against his leg. 'Cut that out, it's perfectly fine. You look like a puppy that just got told off for weeing on the floor.'

'Pardon? I am not a puppy.' He took a drink of his own coffee. 'And I think the coffee is just fine.'

'You looked like one for a minute.' She took another sip. 'Yeah, well you're probably still putting all that fucking sugar in yours. If I were to put that much sugar in mine I'd probably not notice it being a bit stronger either. It's a wonder you don't rot your teeth out.'

'Language!' He chided her. 'Some things never change with you.'

'Same with you. Grumpy gramps.'

'Now look here.. ' He looked at her sharply.

'You're as old as a gramps now and you're certainly grumpy.' She told him off as she kept drinking her coffee.

'I'm not a gramps.'

'No, not at all. Only 2k plus and counting.' She was teasing him now but he was still grumpy. 'And you just agreed you were grumpy.'

'I did not agree to being grumpy.' He put his cup down and turned to face her on the bed. 'And I think you're over your headache now.'

'You didn't ask how I was.' She just sipped her coffee.

'Hmph.' He crossed his arms and sat back against the headboard beside her.

'Still easy to wind you up.' Cee told him with a grin.

'Shut up.' He snapped, still grumpy and not looking at her but just picking up his coffee to look at it instead. The bed moved and he then glanced out the corner of his eye to see her getting up on the other side of the bed.

'Have to use the loo. Be back.' She headed out of the room and he just watched her move.

'I'm not that grumpy!' He called out to her. The only response he got back was a laugh. 'Stop laughing at me!' Just more laughing. The Doctor didn't respond again and just finished up his coffee. He got up and went to the bathroom door but didn't look in. 'More coffee?'

'Please!' Cee answered. 'But only if you're smiling now.'

He rolled his eyes and went back to the bedroom, grabbed both mugs and went to the kitchen. She was still in the washroom when he came back so he stopped at the door again, 'Almost done?'

'Still shy? Or just don't want to admit you're not smiling yet?' Cee asked.

'Call it shyness.' He told her.

'I'll be out in a few more minutes.'

He went back to the bedroom and sat in the chair to wait. She joined him after a few minutes. He held up her mug for her to take it from him which she did but then surprised him by sitting on his lap. 'Mmf.' He made a noise as she settled on top of him. 'This is new.'

'You look like you got sturdy enough thighs now, gotta test them out.' She grinned. 'Oh, c'mon, smile now.'

'I'm apparently grumpy.' His eyebrows, owlish enough, made him look fiercer when he scowled at her. 'Hey! Stop that.' He almost spilled some of his coffee in surprise as she started to poke his stomach. 'Stop!'

'Smile and I'll stop.' Her finger kept poking him softly and moved from his stomach to his side where he started to flinch. 'Oooh, you're ticklish there!'

'STOP!' He put his coffee mug down and grabbed for her hand but she managed to avoid his grasp. 'Ow! Stop! Please!' The Doctor stopped scowling and was starting to laugh uncontrollably as she kept tickling him. Only when he broke into a laugh did she stop.

'There, you smiled.' Both her hands were around her mug again, drinking her coffee. 'I bet you scare off a lot of baddies with that scowl of yours.'

'You're different now.' He told her, not trying to be critical but after he said it realized it could be taken wrong.

'That's rich coming from a regenerated Time Lord.' She smiled, 'I get what you mean, Doctor. Yeah, I'm a little more playful I guess. Maybe because I look at you and think you're too super-serious with those nasty evil brows of yours.' Her fingers danced over them and then down his nose. 'You come off like some stern Roman family head.'

'Well, I'm not.' He still sounded snappy and then took a deep breath. 'I don't mean to be.'

'Am I really that different?' She asked, shifting a bit on his lap until she could rest her feet on the edge of the side table.

'I don't recall you just happily using me as a chair.'

'You wouldn't stay in bed. We can move to the bed and then I can curl up against you.'

'It's not that I mind.' He told her as he put an arm around her waist. 'Just different.'

'Talk to me mister. Something's on your mind. I can tell.' She drank the rest of her coffee and handed him the empty mug which he put on the table beside his own forgotten mug.

'My last regeneration... ' The Doctor started and then stopped, gazing at his feet instead of her. She took his other hand and held it between hers. 'I've been away from you for over 900 years this time, Cee. Longer in one regeneration than in the last four regenerations where I didn't see you. I feel like I'm starting from the beginning again.'

'Didn't stop you kissing me when I was passed out.'

He looked at her sharply, 'How?'

'You always kiss me when I'm asleep. That's never gonna change. Blondie was the worst at trying to hide it from me.' She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. 'So, if you think we're just starting over you gonna take me on a date?'

'Uh,' He hesitated, not sure of what he had thought to do. 'Maybe just talk about it? What sort of date?'

'You could take me to dinner or a movie, go for a coffee.' She offered up suggestions to him.

'Talk here?' He said lamely.

'You are rubbish at dates. Have been from day one.' She wrinkled her nose and then snorted a breath at him, making the hair on the back of his neck rustle. 'Talk then.'

'I, ah, ' He stumbled over what he wanted to say and then tried again. 'It didn't feel right to just presume it would be the same as when I left you the last time. Not like before, then it hadn't been as long.'

'I told you from the start that you would always be welcome the same way every time. It's only a matter of what you're comfortable with. I think you're worse this time round then when Blondie came round the first time.' The Doctor coughed, somewhat embarrassed at the memory. 'Don't get started that way.' She told him off, punching him lightly on the chest. 'Took you almost a whole day to admit you fancied men that time round. It certainly never stopped you cuddling with me.'

'It was awkward, that's all. Seriously, Cee, it would just feel wrong to show up and just want to take you to bed right away. Which is how I feel.'

'Even before you linked with me?' She challenged him now.

'Yes. Maybe not as intensely but yes.'

'Nothing gets more intense than when you link with me.' Cee reminded him. 'How do you think I feel then?'

The Doctor blushed now, 'I would hope the same.'

'You are hiding something now.' She could tell as he started to blush. 'Fess up.'

'I'm the telepath, not you.' He tried to avoid the subject but she was having none of it, poking him in the side again. He sighed and started playing with her fingers to keep her from poking him anymore. 'You did feel it when I kissed you, right?' She nodded. 'Nothing else?' Cee furrowed her brows, thinking back to when he had put her in a sleep.

'A lot of kissing, on my neck. I think you also got a bit frisky with your hands. I know I liked it.' He made a noise in his throat, closed his eyes and tilted his head back. 'What did you get up to?' She asked point blank.

'This is incredibly embarrassing.' He said, blushing fiercely.

'What'd you do?' Cee egged him on.

He couldn't look her in the eye when he spoke, 'I was wound up, when I took on the pain I also got your emotions. Obviously, you were as usual glad to see me again. I may have ah, gotten carried away a little.' He flicked a quick look at her and she was just waiting for him to continue his confession. He hung his head and spoke in a whisper. 'I masturbated on you and then, ah, I touched you.'

'You didn't!' She took his chin in her hand and made him look at her. 'Really?' He nodded, still blushing. 'Goofball. You're all worked up because of that?' She smacked him on the chest. 'What are you more upset about? Coming on me or touching me when I was out of it?'

'The first.' He said quietly. 'When I touched you, you sounded as if you were enjoying it.'

'I've never been disappointed when you touch me. Even Blondie was excellent in that regard.' Cee put both arms around his neck and pressed her nose against his. 'As for you coming on me, don't get all wound up over that. Over the years you've done that often enough too.'

'Never when you've been out of it.' He contested.

'And how many times over the years have I woken you up by copping a good feel of your cock?'

'Shush, language.' He furrowed his brow at her choice of words. 'And that's totally different. I wasn't in an unconscious state that I wouldn't be able to wake up from. Just like when I've teased you awake.'

'Okay, I'll grant you the point that I wouldn't have woken up no matter how much you or how well you fingered me. I did at least get off on it?'

'Not a major orgasm.' He admitted. 'But you did sound content. I was gentle.'

'Then you owe me a better orgasm then I'll call it forgiven.' Cee told him and tapped him on the chest.

'I still feel bad about using you for my own relief.' He told her.

'You didn't hurt me. You did clean up properly?' He nodded to answer her question. 'Done then. No worse than if you'd had a wet dream against me. On that part, you are off the hook.' She kissed him on the forehead. He started to say something but she laid a finger on his lips. 'No more. I said you're good and that's it.' She kissed him again. 'And none of this guilty afters. If I catch you doing that then I'll make you jack yourself off twice for each guilt moment. And I know you HATE doing just that when you'd rather fuck me properly.'

'Cee! Language!' His tone was sharp.

She rolled her eyes at him. 'What would you prefer I say then?' The Doctor just blinked at her, not saying anything. 'Until you come up with a preferred way of referring to it then I shall use whatever word I like. And that word tonight is .. ' She found his finger pressed against her lips. Playfully she grabbed at his finger with her lips before she managed to finish her sentence. “Fuck me.'

'Cee,' he gave her a look. 'Fine, you can use intercourse if you must say anything.'

'Hmm, intercourse.' She looked at him, head to one side. 'You like intercourse do you?'

'Yes.' He said in response.

'So do I.' She told him. 'I could get used to intercourse.'

'It's much better.' The Doctor agreed.

'Oh, yes, Much better. Especially better than masturbation.'

'Either is good.'

'True, but if given a choice I'd prefer intercourse. Unless masturbation comes first then intercourse.'

'Well, that would depend on the context.' The Doctor commented. 'For example, I would only prefer masturbation first if I were waiting for you to say, finish in the shower, prior to us then having intercourse with one another. But if you or I had planned to leave soon then I'd much prefer having intercourse first and only masturbate afterwards if there were time.'

'And if there were time would you really just settle on masturbation?'

'Oh, no. If enough time then definitely further intercourse.'

'Well then, unless you just want to keep talking about it.. ' Cee reached down and cupped his crotch with her hand. The Doctor's eyes widened at her grasp. 'Do you think there's enough time for you to have intercourse with me now? Because with all this talk of masturbating and having intercourse, my vagina is quite moist and, ' she paused to give his crotch a good squeeze to feel it begin to harden under her touch. ' your penis feels like it's getting rather aroused now.' Her hand started to rub his erection up and down, arousing him even further.

'I wasn't, ah, oh.. ' He pursed his lips as she squeezed him through his trousers. 'You weren't just talking, oh my,' He bit his lip as her fingers found the tip of his penis and rubbed him harder there. '.. semantics.. Cee, you're ..'

'Wanting to have intercourse with you? Yes, I do.' She told him evenly. 'Unless?'

'Unless what?'

'You just want to masturbate?' She looked at him innocently, withdrawing her hand from his crotch.

'This is not how I imagined our first uh... ' He looked at her, his arousal was almost painful now.

'You are incredibly shy this time round.' She smiled at him and then leaned forward to softly run her tongue over his lips but pulling away as they parted to try and kiss her. 'Finish what you were going to say.. our first?'

'Time?' He finished weakly.

'No, you wanted to say something else. I know you did.'

He looked as if he was being tortured but then, 'Sexual.. ' She was rubbing his crotch again, along the length of his hard on. 'Cee.. stop.' Her fingers started to unzip his trousers 'I want to fuck you so badly.'

'There's my naughty Doctor.' She grinned and then kissed him on the lips. His fingers grabbed her head and his passion spilled over finally, driving his tongue into her mouth.

'You are still such a tease.' He told her off when he stopped for a breath. She was still stroking him through his trousers making him breathe heavily.

'I know how to get you to lose it.' Again she licked his lips with her tongue. 'Although, I'm the one doing all the work still. If you want to fuck me so badly you need to get busy or else .. ' Her fingers had unzipped his trousers all the way and sliding over his underwear.

He closed his eyes at her touch. 'You're.. ' He felt two of her fingers pressing against the head of his erection and almost lost himself at that point. With a groan he buried his face against her chest, between her breasts. Now he felt her hands on the back of his head, away from his erection. The Doctor reached up with his hands, cupping both breasts in his hands through her nightshirt. As he caressed them, he started to kiss her neck and throat.

'Mmm, much better.' She moved so that she was straddling his lap properly, hitching the bottom of her nightshirt up over her knees. He slid his hands down and began to push her nightshirt up and over her breasts. She tugged it the rest of the way off and wound her fingers into his hair, guiding his lips to her breasts. He was hungry for her, sucking hard on her nipples. With his free hand he was finishing the job of unbuttoning his trousers and pulling his erection free. Grasping himself hard with one hand he slipped his other around her waist and pulled her towards him. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she raised her body up to settle onto his hard member. 'Fuck me.' She breathed into his ear.

'Not how I wanted this,' He barely got the words out before he felt himself sliding into her, finding her wet and ready for him. She was sighing with pleasure as she sank right down onto him.

'This,' She moaned, 'This is what I want.' She took over and began thrusting with her hips along the length of him. He held her hips, helping her move. Swallowing hard, he began to suck even harder on her nipples, flicking his tongue over the one and stroking the other roughly. She had been more aroused than he had been initially, his embarrassment had distracted him. It wasn't a surprise when she was arching her back and riding him faster. Then she was crying out, her orgasm was intense. Her muscles tightening around him tipped him over and he was grinding against her hard, coming inside her. Cee rested against him finally, breathing hard.

'Why?' He started to speak, having caught his breath after some minutes. 'I had hoped to make this more.. ' He struggled and she smiled.

'More romantic?'' She asked for him.

'Not that, just less frantic.' He held her close, aware of her nudity as she rested against him, still clothed.

'More intercourse and less fucking?' She couldn't help herself and laughed at his response, stopping him with a kiss before he could say anything about her language.

When she gave him a chance to talk again, he said. 'More foreplay is what I actually had in mind and I don't just mean you fingering my privates.'

Her lips kissed the tip of his nose lightly. 'Well, my wonderful loving Doctor, if you do want more foreplay and a less frenzied pounding, you could get started now.'

The Doctor gazed at her affectionately, 'My dear, I have no idea if I'd have it in me for a second round in one night.'

'Hm?' Cee asked, even as she nuzzled against his neck, starting to unbutton his shirt finally.

'This is literally the first time I've had intercourse with anyone in this regeneration.'

Cee drew back to look at him with a penetrating look. 'Are you telling me? Honestly telling me???' He arched an eyebrow and nodded at her questioning look. 'Oh. My.' She bit her lip, 'That's a first.. on a few levels.'

'Understand why now?' He gestured with his hand. Cee nodded.

'Well, I think then that I shall have to make it up to you. If I'd known I wouldn't have been so quick.'

'And if I don't have the stamina?' He flicked a look to his crotch, where he was still currently quite flaccid. 'Which isn't looking promising.'

'You did just come.' She reminded him.

'And I have a very beautiful naked woman on my lap, actually practically right on top of my ah, member. And her incredible breasts right in front of my eyes.' He paused and had to lick his lips.

'And, that naked woman isn't touching you right now.' She lifted her eyebrows at him suggestively.

'Oh, no you don't.' He caught on to what she was suggesting and took hold of her hands before she could get even partway down his stomach. 'Up you get, this time I want to do it right.'

'But I'm quite comfortable here.' Cee pouted but got up when he started to rise himself. Taking her by the hand he sat her on the edge of the bed, stepped back and undressed himself in front of her. She watched him unbutton his shirt and waistcoat, slipping them off his shoulders. She made to stand again, wanting to touch him now but he held up a hand to hold her still. His trousers slipped off easily as he'd already been unzipped by her. Even standing there, naked in front of his lover, he found himself not getting aroused. He watched her eyes and realized that she wasn't looking at his body but at his eyes.

'You don't like what you see?' He asked, wondering why she wasn't looking at him.

'I always like the way you look, it's your eyes that I find the sexiest. Does that surprise you?' She leaned forward, her hands between her legs.

'I thought, “ he paused and then, 'this body is older, it may not be what you would prefer.'

'You told me when I first met you, before we ever had sex that first time, about regeneration. And you were right, you change your body but your mind, your soul doesn't. That's why I find your eyes to be sexy. That's how I know you want this.' She looked at him, smiling seductively at him.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard at her words. Approaching the bed, he knelt on the edge with one knee to one side of her right leg, gazing down on her. He rested a hand on her cheek, holding her lightly. Then he was bending down and kissing her softly at first but their hunger became more intense. Her fingers were running over his chest, exploring him properly for the first time in this regeneration. The first time, he thought as he held his breath a moment and then exhaling against her, he could feel her gently teasing the sparse grey hair on his chest. Then she was touching his nipples and he felt them harden under her touch. There was a familiar sensation in the pit of his stomach.

Fingers now moved from his chest and down over his stomach, finding the trail of hair that led down to his crotch. Her soft touch was the same as it had always been and he was happily relieved when he felt that stirring in his stomach move down to his groin. Hardening once more, the Doctor began to feel more relaxed and moved his hands to her breasts, stroking the hard points, enjoying the shiver that ran through her as he did so. Wanting more of her, he stood for a moment and then eased her back on the bed, laying her down. He knelt over her, kissing her lips, then to her neck and chest. Then over her breasts and nipples. Her hands rested on his head, touching him. His lips and his tongue explored over her stomach. Her familiar taste was there but it was also new for him.

Cee moved her legs apart as he moved further downward, now kneeling on the floor, and she was gently guiding him. The first hot breath against her thigh made her moan and he gently stroked the soft skin of her inner thigh. His long fingers moved closer to her, stroking her skin softly. Cee shivered with anticipation, purring lightly. The Doctor looked up as he continued to touch her, the look on her face aroused him further. Her eyes were barely open, her lips parted slightly, a soft flush to her cheeks and neck. As he watched, her tongue darted out to lick her lips. Her hands were stroking her breasts. He continued to gaze at her as he touched her for the first time, his fingertip grazing lightly between her lips to touch her wet, slick clitoris. Now her eyes closed tight and her hips arched upwards towards his hand as he rubbed his finger up and down her clitoris. The more she moaned the harder he pressed against her.

Watching Cee's face and how it changed as he stroked her, he was getting more aroused but he was determined to not give in to his own desires this time. He'd let himself lose control before but not this time. Not, he thought to himself, until she came for him. Her body was trembling with her growing orgasm as he quickened his pace. Without stopping rubbing her hard, he slipped his long middle finger inside her. Cee cried out as he did so, the length of his finger reaching deeper into her than she had ever experienced with him before. When she came, her body arched upwards and she choked out a groan of pleasure. Not stopping, he kept rubbing her clitoris to draw her orgasm out. Her juices felt as if they were pouring out of her and over his hand.

Panting hard Cee sat up just enough to look at him. 'Fuck me now!'

Reluctantly, the Doctor slipped his finger out of her and stood up. There was no doubt that he was ready again, his erection was hard for her and he moved on top of her. Her hand was on his penis, pulling him towards her and guiding him inside. The tightness of her still quivering vagina worried him for a moment as he found himself having to push hard into her, prompting her to moan loudly. He stopped just briefly but she whimpered and wrapped her leg around him to urge him on and then he was inside her as far as he could get, buried all the way. She was digging her fingers into his sides. The Doctor didn't even try to hold back any longer but pounded into her hard and fast, fighting her body's muscle spasms with each thrust. Grunting with the exertion he felt himself on the verge of coming and a final thrust, driving his erection deep enough to press his balls against her wet crotch had him ejaculating inside her. He practically collapsed on top of her, breathing hard even as she was catching her breath, trembling from her own orgasm.

They just lay there, spent and languidly caressing one another. 'Doctor?' Cee finally broke the silence. He responded with a soft 'mmm' and not moving. 'You're worth the wait.'

'You're worth coming home to.' He answered and nuzzled against her. 'No more, just sleep.' She sighed contentedly and snuggled in close against his body.


End file.
